EP14: Single Parents Are Superheroes, What Is It Like Having a Dad? and Lighting indoor Fireworks!

Spreading Rumours Podcast by Kristen Hanby Episode 14. 

Episode 14 of the Spreading Rumours Podcast is back, and it's hotter than a flaming jalapeño! Join the hilariously uncensored crew of Kristen Hanby, Natalie, Jasmine, and the one and only Nan as they unleash a no-holds-barred comedy extravaganza.  Buckle up for an unfiltered rollercoaster ride of adult humour, hilarious life stories, and gut-busting banter. Get ready to blush, belly laugh, and wonder just how in the world these outrageous conversations make it onto the airwaves. This episode is for the bold, the daring, and those who can handle the funniest and most scandalous stories ever shared on a podcast! Listener discretion is advised - it's time to let loose and laugh your a** off!

Youtube: @spreadingrumourspodcast
Instagram: @spreadingrumourspodcast
TikTok: @spreadingrumourspod

Transcript

Transcript:
(00:00) yo what's good everybody welcome back to a brand new episode of spreading rumors the world's [ __ ] his podcast we've got Jasmine it was meant to be my brother but he claims doesn't get paid enough to be on his podcast so you're never going to see one of the games he's talking [ __ ] and we've got Natalie you know what I'm saying to this podcast last night I went to go look through my notes for this podcast and realized I lost my notes because I dropped my phone down the toilet so I've
(00:24) had to redo the whole pod I was up till half two last night sitting on the toilet I didn't want to wake him Jasmine let me up so yeah the podcast is gonna be even [ __ ] today Johnny looks different today how are you Nan I'm fine so you're happy to be honest today Happy Days yep you know how it goes obviously everybody pick a present oh God okay who which one do you want jazz um okay put on the table what one do you want Nan I'll have three person one okay you put them for a Nan and then that in front of Natalie so the
(01:04) rules are okay Rosa Nan yeah at any point through the Pod you can say present time you get to open your present okay okay yep so like yeah if you want to open now wait I'll wait okay well last time I opened mine first so I guess I sat there and had to wear a soggy song and then we can we can wait I'm saying like 10 minutes yeah I'll wait so we're gonna start this Ponte today we're gonna find out what everyone was like when they're a kid so we'll start with you well kid yeah we are old [ __ ] now so I'm gonna start
(01:32) with you Nana okay what were you like at school like when you were growing up naughty at school how naughty very Wrigley oh yeah so it's a slide down the bonuses and get caught oh and then I was naughty at home and my mother went to Reverend mother and told me told her what was wrong and when I got to school Miss Le quarrel come here oh my God because he frightened me a nun you know and I just stood then peed my pants did you actually yeah and I ran all the way to my grandmother at rally Avenue and she took me back to school and I had to
(02:09) slip on what does that mean you're whack with the slipper oh how many times Well I said it didn't hurt so I had two more would you remember she whipped out the wooden spoon with us no yes she used to whip The Wooden Spoon out you did with me Johnny and Kristen don't lie oh yes I've done that yes I can't remember what we were doing but there was one day we were all obviously being cheeky [ __ ] and She chased us up at the oh what was it called I put Blue Horizon She chased us up them stairs
(02:39) with a wooden spoon do you remember we all hid onto that bed in the pink no the was the pink room the pink room I remember that and we were all fighting with each other like who was going in front because obviously she was onto the bedroom so when you're at school you took out what you learned and then [ __ ] started dish now to us so back to your school so did you go to like an all-girls school or was it a mixed school was it all a girls school did you ever have any fights in that really because you don't not really
(03:11) because I had loads of friends so we didn't really fight you know so if anybody's um wondering as well Iron Man just a bit closer to Mike okay that's cool so yeah what was it gonna say so if you don't really know my nan if you've never seen her she actually how old were you when you lost all your teeth oh I was about 11 11.
(03:34) actually so yeah did you not know that I didn't know that so yeah top four high top four fake yeah because I was my cousin was on the swing and I just happened to pause take him out no go on do it take them out take them up take them up and they take them out properly take them out away from like a trophy she just [Applause] so yeah so what happened so when you were younger you got hit of a swing yep that's crazy you're crazy and then I went on the roof but my grandmother's place and I was it was a drop like that and my mom my dad
(04:20) had to come and crawl and get me you love it put the figure pull that mic a bit closer to her chest Jazz so then it's like face upwards flip it down and face upwards a bit like no down put the actual down at the end that way it's more like maybe in our Doogie yeah just kick your mouth there I guess man okay yo Jasmine what were you like at school because I didn't know anything about you yeah that's true geek what level of geek we talking like prefect what's that like where you like you become like you've
(04:46) had like a village and you have a badge and you like make rules and decisions I think oh no not like that way in that no no not like that Randall of recess which one's that one you've never seen recess yeah I've seen it a Little Dream that [ __ ] with me I wasn't like I wasn't like a proper geek but I was like I just kept myself yeah yeah so like did you ever like get like told of my teachers did you like never like did you ever do anything wrong no never I was perfect I can't picture you at school neither
(05:15) can I go I can't to be found I can imagine you being quiet like yeah yeah I could imagine her being quiet and just getting on with it a mini Jazz I don't know why but I reckon a picture you'd walk around like a massive backpack no I don't have no I don't imagine no there's one it's like you're struggling to walk because it's not like that no but I was kid she was that like cute like quiet girl yeah I was always good never got told off never get told off never that's crazy
(05:39) the Natalie what would you you were like were you like bad at the teachers and stuff no see if she was like I was horrible I was [ __ ] horrible to teachers and things I used to like walk into a lesson that I didn't I know that I didn't want to do and I'd walk in and straight away I'd do something to get kicked out and he'd go out detention I'd be like sweet see you later guys yeah like every time that's crazy because I was the same as well in terms of I used to I used to probably like swear at
(06:04) teachers like [ __ ] you you're like frozen should I run to the uh Meadows was it yeah yeah I used to run there and go smoke in there or we'd run into the toilets and just go smoke in the actual toilets and you'd walk in right and the whole toilets would be full of smoke and there'd be about two three people in each cubicle and I was in one with you remember Caitlyn yeah yeah I was in there at home we were smoking our silk cut Reds and it's a toilet behind the lockers next to the candy yeah and Miss
(06:32) ravasi walked in and she was like oh where am I gonna catch up today and me being stupid I stomped the [ __ ] out on this side of the door and obviously the Cherry fell off and you could see it and she went I've caught my first singing smoker she's like come out and I was like oh my God oh my God you know like it's because when you're a kid one thing I don't get like how kids get into smoking I think it's cool I never got to like maybe like being a little [ __ ] doing this but I just never
(06:57) I never ever realized how like kids get into smoke and they end up just smoking like 40 a day oh God they didn't smoke like that but John said at what point do you end up like I don't know why I just feel like it so that's okay why do you feel like you need one you know I don't think kids do that's the thing because I don't think anyone actually needs a [ __ ] when they're a kid but they just think it's cool yeah that I think that's all it is it's like now like that how was
(07:21) Vapes because I don't think it's [ __ ] cool yeah I reckon that's what is now with Vapes I got kids think it's called Smoke Vapes yeah yeah exactly I don't agree don't smoke bags I don't smoke Vapes that's crazy to think that everybody you meet everybody you meet had like they've gone to school and they've like done their [ __ ] you don't know what they were like you know what I'm saying they were like [ __ ] like homework remember you used to [ __ ] never did it you should like say it was
(07:40) like a Tuesday morning you wake up you know you do your homework you've not done it you're like [ __ ] do you know what Lexi does that what she goes oh I was meant to do home my homework it's meant to be in tomorrow and I was like well what is it I don't know like you are literally me it's [ __ ] crazy because obviously like Lexi doesn't talk to me no more but the Lexi I used to like be friends and she like was such a good little kid again yeah because she's like hit puberty now and it's like I don't know
(08:12) what it is but it's like a [ __ ] chemical imbalance or something that they just go all weird she hides in her room she doesn't want to talk to me and when she doesn't talk to me like cool sound like just go in the room now it's mad isn't it like I missed I missed a little lecture Alice is going to be that guy soon so yeah find me an atlas will be like that together yeah no there's gonna be like next about 20 Lexie went 20 when she's 10.
(08:39) yeah and then she'll be over it by then and then she'll be my mate again yeah yeah that's exactly what's gonna happen before we go on to the next Quest the next subjects it's actually gonna be a funny one but not funny but we'll have a shot okay well we're just gonna have a quick shot of um Doogie oh God where did I put them I have a short glass under my chair oh is that a [ __ ] moldy so does everybody answer the question we're gonna do vodkro whiskey whiskey whiskey yeah why can't you buy something
(09:07) different [Music] the one good thing about these shots is they're actually smaller than what they've started off with because they were full-on glass ones and they were huge because the thing is the next subject's um deep I dropped it I wouldn't have to drink it oh God like Dad deep you'll find out oh God only 10 a.
(09:50) m like last time we are like 4 P.M it's like gone four p.m by the way why is your if you're listening on Spotify yeah we're about to do a shot but make sure you leave a rating on this podcast okay because we want to get loads we've not got many leave a little rating make sure you download it yeah so yeah cheers to um spreading rumors to watch his podcast cheers guys Cheers Cheers ready cheers reminds me of a night out [ __ ] out a mixer fuse wow enjoy yourself did you enjoy your sticky water oh god wow I think I'd rather chewing tobacco
(10:41) yeah I think maybe after a while it's open you might have to drink it quickly no I still taste the same so yo we're gonna get on the next question okay Jasmine and Nan you're gonna have to explain this deeply okay what is it like having a dad this whole time okay but you've had like a father figure in your life yeah see I'm saying like for example my dad's more like a mum though to me like how he is no like like my dad my mom's like my dad my mom's like how her dad should be and my dad's like a little bit like
(11:22) software your dad's softer you've had bow figures like growing up you've had two people like for example Emmy okay I look at her and I can't picture not being having a dad I can't picture her just like not like laughing and having fun so I literally I was thinking about it last night when I was replanning this pod because obviously I dropped my [ __ ] phone down the toilet but yeah I want to actually like like you know what I'm saying this whole time you've grown up okay like even when you're 10 you
(11:46) know what I'm saying you know when you're like Daddy's girl or daddy's boy like what like we've never had that in terms we've only had mum so what what is it like I don't know how to I don't I was trying to like picture it but you don't I can't picture like when she's laughing you were the youngest out of all of us so you don't actually remember anything whereas I remember bits before they broke up and I was a dad's girl that's crazy he always used to call me monkey and I always say I
(12:14) want to sleep with Mommy and Daddy I remember that's crazy and that was me still being young but I remember me always wanting to go with him in his van and go camping that's mad like because I thought it was cool but that's what I'm saying but like but like oh that's like what made me but like the thing is you should have like 20 years of his memories oh God I know that's why I didn't even think about that anymore because it's not really you can't we can't I can't think of it
(12:39) because I don't even know it's like but I'm saying you don't even have like I'm guessing you say when this is another film get onto actually because me and Jasmine always talk about it if you're a single parent okay like you're literally a [ __ ] superhero yeah we think about it okay like even like don't get me wrong we're good you know what I'm saying with a nice house like don't mind no money problems in that but we'll think about it imagine being like a single parent with no money you know
(13:00) what I'm saying in fact like I'm not I haven't obviously been in that situation but it's been that bad but when obviously I was off with Lexi I was borderline broke it's like living literally month by month and thinking like how the [ __ ] am I going to afford that see that's what I'm saying never ever like I've not had that problem for ages now but like that when I had Lexi that's exactly how I felt living like month by month like literally when I went away I can't imagine what that
(13:25) would be like permanent I went away for like 40 hours of day to play a charity football match and I came back and Jasmine's like oh my God I was a single mom for two days but I was thinking I was thinking like actually look where you are for the two days you're you I'm saying you go do what you want get food you can all this this is you actually don't have no worries yeah but like I've literally I was every time we talk about it just imagine I know but in what I find crazy about that is those people
(13:50) that are in them situations have like three of them yeah but like in literally a box flat three of them on her own like how it's like when Jasmine's like oh I'm gonna quickly go for a bath like if you're a single pen like imagine even like I love baths so you don't get enough like 20 minutes oh this is nice you can't do that you literally don't have a second to turn off yeah and imagine you know when you wake up in that night like defeat of that it's just constant yeah yeah like I said I have
(14:15) that exact thing still when Atlas is literally gonna be two in August and when she wakes up I still have to get my boob out every time so yeah if you're watching this and you're a single parent fair play to you yep you know what I'm saying it's [ __ ] crazy it's insane yeah it's still Natalie you're gonna open your present yeah Goldman I don't even know what it is what I'm saying what the [ __ ] have I got to put a mustache on what is it it looks like a tashmate or [ __ ] eyebrows
(14:47) yeah it's the eyebrows it's yeah you just gotta stick in the middle you've got a mono brow for the rest of the pod so I think if you do but like put one in the center and it stick y big ones used to be a mono oh man okay do a mono and a Tash I don't there's just no no no no dash okay you'll see why oh it's gonna look like ball right now it's about there yeah because I can't see it yeah yeah lovely it's not about right now I look like a meeting now I look like you Nan like yours are still smaller than Nan's
(15:27) hey I know he was a huge and they're still pink from yesterday ain't no do you remember when I [ __ ] in the back of your car which oh yes I remember yeah remember like I I don't even I think I was I just had like a really bad stomach and I was gonna go to the doctors but my mum came with me but she went in first and didn't let me go she had to go get like a little prescription something so she made I didn't want to go in there because I was [ __ ] my pants so me and Brian waited in the car and like
(15:55) literally so we're waiting for the mum to say yo switch you quickly coming now and like literally I was in the back of the car Brian hey Brian I'm gonna [ __ ] myself here for a joke farted went straight from the boxes straight from my dog Bombs all over Nancy oh no chair so I've stood up and there's a big wet ring and Brian he's like we had to [ __ ] drive to Mom's house I had to drive Nan's car with a [ __ ] yeah just remind me anyway another story after this again anyway so um ah yeah
(16:29) anyway um so we've gone back to Mom's house we're gonna go into [ __ ] and the door was locked so I had to go in the shed there was a towel there cleaned all my ass for a towel like three weeks later mum was like who's [ __ ] dirty towels is it with me a little shitty towels in the show for like three days what the three weeks [ __ ] went back down to the doctors had to go in with stinky pants and stuff on steel oh that was a crazy situation that's awful no I'm gutted it's just dropped in my head what I was gonna do
(17:02) I'll do it near the end okay it's just the pennies just dropped because that just reminded me of something I feel [ __ ] stupid why all I can see is a big [ __ ] life I might open mine go and open it how do you do you live with your eyebrows like that they're fine thank you very much all I can see is my brow man that's literally you literally no Jazz what's Jazz got oh I know what this is what no you've used the cactus before it sounds like a cat what the [ __ ] is that [ __ ] what is it
(17:47) oh my God it's a wig it's a [ __ ] wig oh my [ __ ] yeah I would say oh yeah [ __ ] it go on then yeah put that one I didn't even know that was in there is that attached you've got potassium and a wig and and glasses oh no I don't feel so stupid anymore yo guess what I said last week I hope someone brings me a present no one brought me you know what was funny I was sitting and I thought to myself what could I buy Kristen that looks hot I'm gonna have sexy after that one what with that mustache yeah no not on the museum
(18:20) oh I'm gonna oh look at that all right girl glasses yeah I was thinking about getting you a present mate and I just thought to myself like what could I actually get you why does that wig look sexy oh my God you actually do could look like cute with short hair yeah you look like it do you know what you look like you look like a Betsy yeah a little Betsy yeah the Explorer little cute Betsy Dory gone bad that's your outfit for the rest of the Pod so yeah if you're watching on Spotify Jasmine's just put a wig on some
(18:59) glasses on and she lives out please how the [ __ ] does this work I think you've got lucky this isn't sticky does she want mine this looks it's not sticky at all no no okay yeah then you wouldn't be hot without anywhere I was gonna say why does she look fit and I don't yeah mono Brown she's got a short wigging [ __ ] glasses she looks hot like that yeah like a dope like I said I my eyebrows are like you're seeing it I want too yeah like a dope yo has anyone ever seen The Truman Show I heard of it no one
(19:33) ever seen The Truman Show I think I have have you none You Ever Seen The Truman Show so it's basically a movie about this guy and like he's living his life you know what I'm saying it's a guy yeah it's a guy he's living his life and like throughout the first 45 minutes in the film you don't even click on he's just he's just showing his life he's doing [ __ ] yeah but then you start clicking on there's like product placements in the thing and then you slightly start to
(19:54) realize he he has been born into this world which is in like a bubble but that's it's like a fake world in the actual World okay so his life is a TV series outside oh [ __ ] I have seen tonight yeah people are actually watching him yeah yeah yeah I can't remember yeah but then he slowly starts clicking on them and he tries to break out stuff yeah so I was thinking yeah I've seen that imagine you found out okay your life was the Truman Show how would you would you what were the decisions and things you do in life what
(20:27) would be your consequences would you like [ __ ] you've done that no one knows about [ __ ] you do like behind like do you know what I'm trying to say I think everyone knows what we do they're a bit like no but like on on your own I don't know the [ __ ] when you do when you're on your own is that like would you go to prison oh no no would you like I'm a [ __ ] I'm vanilla as they come when I'm on my own like nothing exciting happens so like so you would be you would be sound too I'd be sounds TV show
(20:53) oh [ __ ] well boring me I go to bed at like seven and I breastfeed till about 10. yes like no I'm like I'm not the [ __ ] most boring is like like I I'm happy with my life but it's not exciting yeah what would the nands to be fair Nan's would just be her [ __ ] for an hour and trying to get in the shower for an hour and check her ass she can't even find it another slip out the shower for an hour and she shits again that's to go back in for another [ __ ] so 50 of Nan's life she's cleaning their ass what about
(21:24) yours literally she does she walks around with a [ __ ] bag with a flannel and soap in it I don't know that's as much as [ __ ] excitement you got was walking around with your bag and your flan away let's go clean the beaver because to be fair she cleans her ass with a flannel every time doesn't she yeah too much so what are you saying okay you've gone for a tour I can go two three days without having to wash just can't be asked yeah so what are you saying then so you guys dirty person so
(21:51) what are you saying you go to the toilet yeah yeah like you have a [ __ ] or piss you clean your hands you've got to dry it you look down you're using Nan's dirty flannels she's left it in the [ __ ] bathroom well it stinks of BB smells like that [ __ ] strumming straight away yeah so yeah so treatment in my life die die all right reckon yours would be pretty boring as well man yeah like now yeah I'm slowly morphing into just a boring dad yeah that's what I mean like now I wouldn't say it's anything except
(22:21) unless yeah go away for a day or two I get like homesick and just can't be asked you always get homesick though you did after like a month you'd be like I'm ready to come home now yeah but it's got work now it's got worse I just want to put my feet up on the couch and watch Netflix and be boring [ __ ] because you've got my dad yeah I'm probably like I've literally I'm getting so fat you may as well get married but I'm eating so much food at the moment to the point where like you may as well get married
(22:47) mate no 100 no not married we found out Jasmine's found out Gabby watches every pod she watches yeah and then she mentioned the other day saying Thanks Jazz because she said oh [ __ ] she shouldn't care about both of them yeah she didn't care if she died she didn't mean it though no I was thinking as well the other day obviously none of you is really get intrusive thoughts do you guys tickling me you're tickling me oh all right Dora her name's Betsy Dora Betsy I reckon better I don't
(23:30) even know what I look like can I look at myself no no after and it is a wet puddle everywhere and because you're wearing the the combat trousers you're like looking pretty slick right let's show them your shoes like I I do I had to be far I always put six shoes on your feet yeah you do see what I'm saying she's always got sick kicks always her sister said she's what spoiled yeah her family says she's spoiled because she's always wearing like because Mommy looks after baby bear
(24:01) I was thinking before you so none of you is really getting truthful thoughts do you but I get them all the time like some really bad ones I was thinking we should try and normalize it yeah where like if you get an intrusive thought you have to speak it out loud like no matter what it is no matter who you're with you have to speak your intrusive out loud like you did with me the other day yeah yeah yeah yeah but like to the point like no matter what it is okay like I was watching a video of a day of some
(24:29) guy and he's he's that like I don't know who he was but he was saying one of his intrusive thoughts were like um he was said he was [ __ ] wanking and he said why is he was wanking he like it popped into his head like something with his mum and he couldn't and he couldn't get his mum out of his head while he was wanking but he carried on carried on because he was trying to convince him to get out but he still just went and he was thinking of doing something to his mom that takes me back to that time where
(24:55) you said when you're busting one out and you're at the time you're like oh yeah this is dirty then after it you're like I'm ashamed yeah that's like that's [ __ ] that's like on another level that's yeah that's not untruthful that's just playing with fire yeah I'm saying that just like being a dirt yeah that's fine but this is like that's incest yeah it's like [ __ ] disgusting anyway like that an image I had the other day yeah literally I can't even get out of my
(25:16) hand I don't even know if it's intrusive thought really it's not but it was just a thought I had in my head like I was walking like up a road but cars were coming towards me oh you're driving no no I was walking oh walking and I had like a vault it's like I trip over but it's too late for the cars realize it squishes my head and I'm just dead on the floor like and unless you keep every day like every hour like it keeps popping into my head they support it's like to be fair I used to I do have
(25:39) intrusive thoughts but not like the ones you have I have them wearing your mom picture I picture like [ __ ] like with Lexi and Atlas like imagine like I'm walking down the road and then let's just get [ __ ] taken off me and kidnapped yeah like those types of intrusive force and then it just starts to spiral oh my [ __ ] god or her falling down your stairs and like a regular occurrence for me I get a daily image okay of um Jasmine walking down my stairs and slipping you falling down the stairs yeah and that's why I don't know
(26:12) I don't [ __ ] I don't like your stairs yeah that's not what you should walk up that's why I send everyone up the upstairs it's just the thought of falling down because it's [ __ ] like concrete yeah the kitchen ones are better but then even if you go that side and walk up that way and got them stairs yeah because those ones are like not as crazy yeah those are the best outside yeah [ __ ] man you need to consider you can't even walk but you choose to go up [ __ ] stairs there's about 30 steps and you choose to
(26:37) go up the side when you could walk through the front and that's the funniest my answer she'll get to the last step and she'll just wait then I can sometimes she literally just stands and waits she doesn't even say can someone help me oh that you do that you walk up the whole thing yeah then you get to the last one and then you're like hey you can't actually I have to sort of get will myself to actually go on the lights yeah no it's not silly it's just like you don't want to fall back and break
(27:05) all your bones yeah but you can just keep the momentum going until you're off the last step I know but then I just stopped and think oh my God you know I've got to go up this bloody last one yo liar liar pants on fire okay I'm just [ __ ] this is the little segment name I thought of last night when I was on the toilet I went online last night and searched like like let me just get let me just get them up okay I went on there let me find it okay I went on um the internet last night and find some funny lies
(27:40) oh okay literally um so these are lies people have said they've been told and it's just the thread letters and they believe it they don't believe it but it's lies people have told okay I went over to this man's house and he had two toothbrushes I asked why I asked why because I'm nosy this [ __ ] told me he uses one toothbrush for his top set and one for another for the bottom so basically he's obviously got a misses and he's just saying yeah it's so hilarious okay this is another one oh this is quite a funny
(28:12) one some girl found heels under a man's bed and when she asked him why they are there she says he said he used them to change the lights that's a [ __ ] Belta that Isabella now when we got here told me he was at his boy's house charging his phone but his boy said he wasn't there when I confronted him he said his boy didn't see him because he was standing outside the house charging his throne through the window s Christmas yo it's another one I found a bra in his suitcase and he said it was from when he
(28:55) used to be fat years back he said he has saggy tits and he kept it to remind them how far he's come from with his weight loss Journey that is you my friend said she found a pregnancy test but it was negative then her boyfriend said it's his it's his and he wanted to see if it works on males too [ __ ] off oh man he's a [ __ ] thing there's actually a thing with pregnancy test if Mendy then you heard about it I don't know if it's true but apparently if a man pisses on a pregnancy test and it
(29:32) comes back positive it's it's it's something like you could have prostate cancer oh [ __ ] yeah I don't know how much of it's true but I have heard that yeah I have heard that yeah that's nuts I'll try so men get pissing on sticks yeah piss on a stick never know another one I remember this one hun once said her man went quiet all night when she asked the next morning where he was he said he was moppy he said he was mopping and mopped what he said he was mopping and he mopped himself into a corner whilst
(30:04) waiting for it to dry he fell asleep [ __ ] this is the funny thing is like people are funny every man watching this will relate to this because you just think of something and it sounds so real in your head of time yeah this is this is the one I found this another one I found out he got married over the weekend he comes back on Monday with the ring line around his finger I searched the car and found the ring he told me it's a dress ring and he used it to open beer balls I threw it into the veld they're not the
(30:36) veld is told him to buy a bottle opener I don't know what that is but [ __ ] off mate what the [ __ ] I got more I got more I think I got more I hope I do because these are funny oh okay I was nervous on a first date so nervous that I greeted the guy in a British accent when I met him I do not know why that came out of my mouth when he asked me about my voice I was like yeah I'm British I'm from Greenwich it's the only town I can think of we spent the rest of the day talking about how British I was
(31:04) mind you I have a terrible I have a terrible British accent we didn't go on a second date about that though sorry that makes a whole evening awkward as [ __ ] yeah okay um I told my mum George Michael was religious was a religious singer so she would take me to his concert in my defense he does sing Faith gig was up when he did a laser light show I Want Your Sex what phones he got here my husband and I told our kids Barney died so we wouldn't have to watch him anymore Bonnie's [ __ ] weird when you actually
(31:39) think about it when you watch it it's like what the [ __ ] is this yeah I've not really watched Barney so yo there's people lying send us in some lies whatever you like what's the worst lie you come across that I've come across yeah yeah like or you told her you've caught someone out lying I don't know you know now I'm thinking about it I don't know I'm just saying men don't lie these stories I've just read you they're actually real events but they just sound so stupid yes
(32:08) I believe that guy mopped himself into the corner and fell asleep waiting for it to dry you would yeah I'm saying like every man man don't lie sorry for what man mops um me today Germany lies none of you ever told Any Lies no white lie what's the white lie I don't know it's just like done something I said I haven't done it and then they find out I've done it I'll see you no that's [ __ ] what the [ __ ] was that amen apologize I was like giving an answer but not giving an answer that was
(32:47) weird for that man you gotta open your present oh okay hang on do you know who'd be good to ask anyway that question Johnny oh mate now he'll just lie about [ __ ] Johnny's never coming up again he's live he's no he does not coming on the Pod again foreign [Laughter] pull it out and show the camera the one in the middle show the camera in the middle put on our face come on [ __ ] she's just pulled a dick mask out help her Jazz because she'll be able to help oh my [ __ ] God is that how it goes on
(33:42) yeah oh my God put up a tiny bit Natalie just a tiny bit there's no just a nose it goes to the top of my nose yeah yeah just you can talk yeah we can talk holy dick is fun start the mic that's the ever got tradition of our 30 years it's true true [Applause] yo give your dick a rub oh is that is that how you rob a dick no I'm not gonna do it why not because it's rude do it I dare you yeah oh my God I need to get that memory erase not because I just sit there and wank it oh God hey pull the fingers we just put
(34:45) this at to the top of her nose so it's only a level alone again yeah yeah there there keep it there that's where it is yeah that's it there because we can hear you talk yeah I remember talk at the mic so they can hear you but it's just bashing the dick is touching the mic oh my God it's long isn't it and it's going down not up how big is that dick that's that's pretty [ __ ] small and to be fair when we were setting up Alex and that's a big nice dig he's just jealous he's got [ __ ] sausage
(35:15) yo do you know what anything so I I've mentioned before okay I've been eating so much [ __ ] food and you know what I was thinking I don't even know why do you know when you eat chocolate okay and crisps you get you [ __ ] fill your mouth up and chew like oh yes oh you're losing your hair well you better not be pulling that later then well and again do you know what that is that's postpartum long hair loss yeah so do you know when you have snacks okay like why do you what literally when I was eating the Milky buttons I put
(35:51) like seven seven at a time with maltesers it's like why like do you rush them because if you eat one or eight it tastes exactly the same and the thing is if you do it like you eat 20 times more literally why don't you eat one crisp at a time I get a handful that's what that's a mommy's Chris but it's like I was thinking why do you rush snacks that you have a snack because you want to eat something [ __ ] so why Rush your pack of crisps because you buy about 50 bags so you think [ __ ] it let's just run them I
(36:20) don't get it you're literally just filling your body you can have one crisp chew it it tastes exactly the same as opposed to [ __ ] let it choking smelling all your mouth oh lovely like it's crazy like rushing snacks is a thing yeah it is a thing it actually is the only snack I don't rush is prawn cocktail crisps because I suck them one by one do you see I together did you experience the burn no did you not have them which ones the prawn cocktail Watson I had one oh that'll be why I had literally opened them about
(36:52) two months ago and I thought I'll only have a few but I end up going through the whole bag and my mouth was on fire man what if you want I could have just realized it's got pubes yeah because if you want then you can do this put it on your head you can be a dick head upstairs no now you can be a [ __ ] yeah yeah it's gonna be all your hair's [ __ ] anyway mate why don't you shave all off me nah okay are you ready this is the Natalie what that's right oh no These Are the Champions pass that down
(37:39) to Natalie can I open them yet yeah this is your crown pass it to Natalie oh no yeah you put it the wrong way you've got to show the game show the show the front you see the okay put that on your head as well as the [ __ ] unibrow oh God this thing's a bit [ __ ] there we go did you pull it down a tiny bit on your forehead if that's cool just so that everyone can see you're a dumb [ __ ] okay this week okay all right that's finale oh God pause it to Natalie then [ __ ] I am a dumb Khan so we're gonna
(38:15) find out today dumber than mum mum and then Natalie hey [ __ ] wait dumb coming [ __ ] this pod's lit let me just see if this watch ones work cool did you use Jasmine's arms all right so take your pennies ladies okay we're about to find out do I basically stay Queen of the dumb [ __ ] or does nan take over I just bit my tongue talking sorry for you we're about to find out if dickhead's dumber than dumb [ __ ] yeah oh yeah my feet feel free oh my uncle you're supposed to loosen them mate ready poop
(39:14) oh there's nothing worse feels good when you bend your toes eh so nice cool right bring it in mate let's find out who is this week's question don't look at my board I'm not and remember you write your answer baby turn to the camera okay yeah question number one draw a hexagon what a hexagon what the hell is that it's a shape hexagon okay okay he's gotta kind of free show the camera ready yeah hang on go let's see let's see Nelly he said a hexagon not a kite wrong oh you have one line off it's six
(40:20) you've done seven we got seven sides wait one two three four five six seven eight ah you've done eight it's six [ __ ] six sides what the [ __ ] is an Android a diamond she threw like a [ __ ] okay Alex thinks that's a square my video editor my wank buddy my freestyle rap battle of things that's a square that's not a square to keep score Neil nil okay well I was closer than you question number two spell the word handkerchief all right six nine over there all the Bangles on I know yeah
(41:02) yeah oh my God I don't even don't look at her Ally I'm not I seen your eyes oh my God I don't know look at [ __ ] thinking hard man's dick's getting big man five four three two and a count of three show the camera we're seeing alleys let's see yours Natalie handkerchief if you're listening through audio Natalie but let me see h-a-n yeah I'm spelling it for the people that I'm watching h-e-n-k-a-c-h-i-v-e wrong Nan put h-a-n-d-k-c-h-a-n so what's hers spell hand John [Laughter]
(42:07) Natalie can be dumb and now you can be [ __ ] they'll know how do you spell it h-a-n-d-k-e-r-c-h-i-e-s oh [ __ ] off handkerchief did you know how to spell it Jazz no no no question number three how do you make the color brown foreign [Music] okay Carefree turn around what did you buy pet they both put purple and red and you are both dumb no green and red I would have said purple and red green and red dumb as well maybe I'm surprised you put the same as me to be fair so three
(43:11) questions zero zero on the scoreboard question number four how many letters are in the alphabet I love watching their brain work okay okay you got yours Natalie I can't even free time your boards so now he's wrong and where did you get that from what counted them on [ __ ] off now so you're clearly more than four did you count the whole alphabet yeah a b c d f g h okay [Music] if you count it in your head there's definitely more how did you get 14.
(44:04) the answer is 11. how many letters are in the alphabet are you dick I slowed it down I thought a bit of Common Sense was in board I'm bored whatever Nan still doesn't know what you said yeah and she still don't know what you said okay I thought yeah I'm saying I thought I'd do some common sense and like trick questions okay this is the final question oh hell and then give your dick a rub for luck maybe yep go give it a ride oh dick mate your dig not the Whiteboard oh my God right let's do the last
(44:39) question okay are you ready yep what is the answer to this question what's the answer don't look at our board Nan I'm not five wait I'm writing four free write something then two one you gotta write something I can't turn your boards around you're both wrong the answer is what I slowed I I said I literally I said what is the answer to the question oh well I thought it would be nothing and I thought don't know there was no question we're gonna have to have a
(45:43) bonus round okay so five questions okay I'm gonna think of one okay let me just write um if it's maths I'm [ __ ] I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to think of this okay quickly get um yeah what I have to think of a question on the spot here okay um because you thought one of us would have got it back yeah for you one of you okay oh okay what um I'm intrigued now okay okay I got a question yeah what word in the dictionary what word in the dictionary is spelled wrong how do you know that ten wait nine wait
(46:37) eight seven six five four three got nine two you gotta write one down just guess hey turn your board around oh my God we have to go to another bonus round you buy from what is it what is it what word in the dictionary is spelled wrong it's wrong it's wrong ah there's only one word Addiction there's spelled wrong it's [ __ ] wrong and I just I just that and then put what did you put on your board she put nothing nothing okay oh my God yeah okay I got one I said it as soon as you said it again [ __ ]
(47:23) okay okay okay okay okay damn it today is not my day I should not have had that whiskey shot I might have got one right okay get it get this one okay what there's a blue house what color is it okay there's a red house what color is it there's an orange house what color is it there's a greenhouse what color is it okay show your answers let me see you you guys are so [ __ ] dumb a greenhouse is glass oh my God you are both actual dumb [ __ ] I wouldn't have got these
(48:30) okay I'm gonna have to think of an eighth question this is ridiculous but okay we're on question number eight okay okay um okay Mary's mom has five kids okay yeah one's called Stephanie one's called Grace one's called Elizabeth one's called Tracy what is the fifth daughter called so say that again yep say it again I can't [ __ ] remember now I've written something's [ __ ] hey don't look at me so what's the fifth daughter called Nan if they're both wrong this question okay
(49:17) they are both taking the crowd home okay right name down oh my God okay now right in an essay over here huh show your answers I mean I could be wrong but I'm just laughing because how long the name Rick know what no name as she only has five analy is the winner yeah you're a dunk on and a [ __ ] yo oh my God yeah I can have the boards
(50:20) back till next week I want to play okay next can I do it next week I don't think I'm here that was hard okay this is uh this random I've seen these in the shop today and I was going to set one off on the pod indoor fireworks no don't do that oh then it was just at the shop today I think they're going to be small so we're gonna let a little five of them no no no no they're indoor they're called indoor fireworks what so yeah we're gonna end this pod with a firework show well I'm getting ready to leg it yeah I
(50:59) don't like this where are you gonna put it um okay I need a way cool nice to see what are you doing what those it just says foreign what's that gonna do oh my God no I don't like this no I don't know what's gonna happen no I don't like it's just it's an indoor firework it's not dangerous is that it that's it is that what happens when you take a fart and it goes oh these are called Disco Inferno oh [ __ ] off mate I don't it's making me sweaty Inferno that's when it's [ __ ] whoa
(51:59) table yeah okay we're gonna do Disco Inferno because I don't know what's going on with that thing for the table yeah mate go away from me is it it's gonna oh my God oh my God let's go Inferno whack oh it stinks there's gonna be three holes in the table Yeah mate this one's called snake alive no help oh hell look at that man my monobrow's falling off that's all right oh oh it's gone she's gone she's gone up so I'm gonna see these snakes alive how long does it go on for feeling all
(52:54) right [ __ ] we've got a firework show in front of us not very good I'd love to come to bonfire at your house oh it's starting to smell smelly yeah oh my God no these are getting closer to us of course well smell smelly if I go blind I'm suing what the [ __ ] oh looks like it's taking the turn on the table [ __ ] what the f I don't like this look at the worm looks like a curly whirly coming out of someone's hair look at the worm why is it growing that's my dick but now I've seen you
(53:36) your short hair yo that's literally slit huh don't try this at home literally it stinks in here poor it's smelly yep what's this one now oh no no put it towards the end where the [ __ ] is that that shoots towards me I'm out of here what is happening here oh my God oh my God [ __ ] floating in the room this is a bad idea yeah stop now I don't want any more okay no stop that's it that's it it's finished it's just one more thing [ __ ] okay guys as it's the we're gonna send
(54:24) ourselves off with a sparkly no I don't like these oh I don't like her I feel like a little kid then by the time you pass it to her it's going to be dancing yeah I don't like him to the end that light is gone that was well fun this it looks like a little black float is in my size but it's actually so yo comment if you oh if this podcast gets 2 000 likes I will say two and a half thousand likes next week can you see all that yeah yeah next week I'll end the podcast with an actual [ __ ]
(55:00) firework in here [ __ ] off so [ __ ] it they're done yo thank you for watching the world [ __ ] is there anything I forgot before I forget anything the wheel what's that the wheel that's gonna be next week I forgot fan messages and all sorts but yo thank you for watching the World Series podcast if you're watching the YouTube hit subscribe hit like drop a comment because we appreciate it we try and surprise every single comment if you're on Spotify drop a rating download it and yeah mention the PO Box oh yeah
(55:28) PO box someone messed me to be first that they're sending their [ __ ] out cool so yo drop her some benefit yeah I'm saying come support us every week yo love you all peace [Music]