EP13: Is Sh*tting in Public Normal? Worst Presents Ever & Are My Mum and Girlfriend Having a Fight?

Spreading Rumours Podcast by Kristen Hanby Episode 13. 

Brace yourself for a hilariously outrageous episode of the "Spreading Rumours" podcast! Join the hosts (Kristen, Jasmine, Giselle and Natalie) as they throw politeness out the window and dive headfirst into the uncensored world of tiredness, bathroom mishaps, and jaw-dropping confessions. From pondering the mysterious journey of flushed feces to sharing cringe-worthy tales of garden defecation, they're not afraid to dish out the dirtiest truths. With side-splitting discussions on diets, laziness, and even a chance to win a hair transplant, this episode guarantees non-stop laughter and enough bathroom humor to make you fall off your seat. Get ready for unfiltered laughs and unforgettable comedic chaos!

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Transcript

Transcript:
(00:00) yo what's good everybody welcome back to the world's shittest podcast spreading rumors today we're with Jasmine my MILF and Natalie so yo I'm going to start a pub by saying how are you Jazz how do you feel tired tired yeah look at my circles she didn't even bother doing her makeup you know what I'm saying yeah literally newborn life how are you Mum how do you feel okay tired though so I thought today I started actually asking how people are you know normally we jump straight into it and we're talking about dicks and
(00:29) wanking but today so yeah today I'm We're Not Gonna I'm not gonna talk about that stuff again I'm gonna try not to how are you Mum I'm fine yeah how's your week been chilled actually enjoyed the bank holiday and Liberation day it was great why are you talking so it's so almost like yeah yeah anyway yeah so you're put get me a muzzle so she can't talk how are you Nelly yeah baby [ __ ] Thursday yeah is this the first time we've ever filmed on a Thursday yes but it says yeah so yo just about
(00:59) five minutes ago I quickly ran the toilet took a [ __ ] yeah and it forced went out and like when the thing is when you rush a [ __ ] it doesn't always go right pretty wiped it had a big lump of [ __ ] on my thumb so did you wash your hands yeah it doesn't smell oh and it led to me to think okay do you know when you [ __ ] in the toilet okay what happens to that [ __ ] goes into the sewage yeah but then where does that because you've got the scene it goes into the City and then where does that where did it go
(01:24) vote knows it disintegrates all the fish eat it yeah can they do no it goes oh my God and then people catch fish and then they eat them and you eat your own feces I've actually just remembered something but I don't know if I can speak about it yeah God I thought what you did once oh yeah in the back Garden no no in the sea oh he was like I need a [ __ ] and he was like I'm gonna have to go in the sea and I was like [ __ ] off next minute he's got [ __ ] in his hands I'm throwing it and just missed her
(02:09) another time so he's been like walking down Green roads and he's like I have to take a [ __ ] he took a [ __ ] in someone's Garden yeah that was a view yeah we want to we want to walk and we were like 50 of the way in the middle of there in the house so either way I'm not making this toilet because it was like that is funny so I've climbed over this wall and literally where I'm in this person's garden I can see their house and their Windows like but I'm tucked away so they wouldn't be looking in that direction
(02:35) but to say if I got caught like I go but I've been past her a few times eh so if you're watching this you're from where we live go look at the bottom of your garden and see another Fat human [ __ ] in there I had to wipe my ass with leaves and that are so bad but [ __ ] but [ __ ] literally like they just can't hold their [ __ ] in to be fair you can't either oh yeah you [ __ ] your pants 10 times a week am I the only one out of all of all of us because Brian's got [ __ ] in probably as well am
(03:00) I the only one that can hold a [ __ ] here yeah for now when you get a bit older you'll be like mum older yeah yeah I mean you're younger than me but I don't [ __ ] my pants I just know I just take a [ __ ] yeah because you like are gonna [ __ ] I pull my pants down and take an actual dump yeah I'm saying I don't mind [ __ ] you're about to [ __ ] your pants so it's like in my pants or in someone's Garden I forgot about that with you and I tried to throw it and it was just in
(03:20) the sea floating but yeah back to my question okay I'm baffled when I was just taking it I was like you flush it it goes but it just doesn't disappear like magic doesn't it go down to uh down at balazan they've got that no we're talking well why we're just like people watches have no clue where that is yeah I said you always say references to Jersey and people are like what the [ __ ] that buys me in general picture the amount of people that [ __ ] every day you know what I'm saying it goes oh [ __ ]
(03:44) I'm saying there must just be like somewhere one planet is just a [ __ ] [ __ ] we need to Google it it's [ __ ] nuts but yeah it's pretty gross so I'm currently still um struggling my diet at the moment and you're one thing that annoys me do you know when you [ __ ] you're on a diet and people will eat [ __ ] around you and then leave that sheep food at your house or for you to quality here today who did that what did you just say can we actually Alex will you go get some tape to put my mom's
(04:14) mouth so she stops talking I said everything that comes straight today yeah you've literally said that that's the only thing you've ever brought to my house for people to eat and you've literally gone on about it like a million times I literally she's yesterday she must have said to him yeah I brought the courage if you want one literally the only thing you've ever brought but did you bring them from your house or did you actually buy them [Music] for Christmas that's what I mean she
(04:47) didn't even [ __ ] buy them like she mum my mom does as well like so people will buy a Christmas presents instead of sat in her cupboard for years and she'll wrap up yes you will you know that to me was that was some perfume yeah you did it to me with perfume I'll give you with that the perfume smell really good but you literally repackaged it and gave it yes it was I remember which one Nan bought you it and then you wrapped it up and gave it to Natalie I remember yeah they've done that loads of times
(05:14) admitted it at the time because you were like well it hadn't been used it's been sat in my drawer so it's new you don't remember that no so yo she's that one what if you're watching this everyone has that one person that's like my mum everyone they do one thing and they make sure they mention it a million times that day literally is [ __ ] nuts do you know what else I discovered oh he has actually got it come on in mom ah no no you've got a 60 second timeout okay just for you to think about your actions
(05:48) put that on my mouth Jazz 60 seconds just 60 seconds for you to think about your actions I'm gonna give myself a wax at the same time yeah that's it get your mushy off hey just just relax okay no noise coming out your um your mouth actually mom Pierre need to make sure it's all nice actually can't even talk but I'm just gonna say okay how come okay like I don't know if this is weird how come I never clean my ears neither do I do you ever do you ever clean your razor cotton buds I do with
(06:19) baby wipes I don't I've literally oh I've just like done something when you touch something like my fingernails scrape down the cardboard and it's going through me no time out still keep that on stop but yeah for some reason I have no idea why I just never clean my ears neither do I and I I always do this and I never ever like do you know you see why I just don't think we've got a wax problem but you know you sometimes see people with orange stuff in their ears yeah I always think of people are behind
(06:45) me if I got anything in my ear yeah I'm the same though I never ever Reuben on the other hand and Lexi they clean their ears every day with cotton buds that's mad I don't I don't ever dare have you ever ever seen me do it have you no that's crazy oh just before I go on I've got everyone a present oh God here we go okay mine's upside down that's all right so what we're gonna do is throughout the pods you can decide when you want to open your present okay yeah and if you want to open it don't open it yet or no
(07:22) okay do you want to open your present mum or you want to wait um okay you can take that off then you gotta rip it off whack yourself no way that's sick oh my gosh that's a little memory so hey mum God you can open your present if you want then no wait oh you just said you're gonna no I didn't I said yeah that's that's staying there for good now that's like our memory wall the only memory on this [ __ ] pod that's a good idea yeah so anything that happens you wanna open yours yet are you good
(08:03) for now well if they're not gonna I will okay cool yeah yeah yeah yeah go and Ed down what is it I can see something in there and I'm already thinking I know what it is so it's [ __ ] dirty ass sock so it is let's see it's a dirty song go get it out let's have a little uh so it's a dirty sock so you've got to take a show off and a sock off and you gotta wear that for the rest of the pod yeah don't be ungrateful say thank you Kristen for your amazing gesture of getting me a sock
(08:38) so I gotta put it on yeah you gotta take your shoe off your sock off and you gotta wait for the rest of the party just the sock though yeah that's what stinks is it poo that's you know just enjoy it mate nice and wet make sure you've got a sock on yeah take that off lovely [Music] [ __ ] so that's your present you can't that's fine that's fine this shit's gonna give me athlete's foot me is [ __ ] wet and Soggy it's cool it's fine oh my God it's making me oh it stinks have you noticed I throw at least
(09:18) not one person's decide I'm gonna buy Chris in the present foreign oh can you smell it I can smell your armpits mum I feel well sign is then just let me know let me know when you want to okay I'll save it because I opened it too early last time you know what I've done the other day actually I know I could have opened mine in like half an hour and it would have been done then now I've gotta [ __ ] sit here in the last 10 minutes yeah do you know what I'd done the other day so I wasn't going to say is you've not
(09:53) got the worst present no I've got to sort my [ __ ] out what I was about to go to bed okay and there was loads of dishes next to my sink and I was going to put them I was like I can't be asked to do these so I got a black bag out and I was gonna bin all my dishes and I was gonna be able to see how you clean the kitchen but then I got the bag out I was about to I was like no stop you're not sorry my mum there's a no there's a point in life where you've got to tell yourself you can't be that
(10:27) [ __ ] lazy yeah that's [ __ ] so what did you do just left them for me to do no actually you never Jasmine done them yeah you done them you done them the other day Jazz I'm just saying that I don't know who done them but I don't want to give you credit because you keep saying I done this you do [ __ ] all mate foreign like it's weird to say I'm the laziest unlazy person ever yeah if I need to do something I get it done I do I need to do but if I don't yeah but housework wise no you're lazy
(11:32) bastard but it's weird but then like I don't know how to like work wise yeah you're not lazy here we go three four things like text messaging okay I am if you're watching this and you're like you're a dick no reply I do that to everyone you can take it back off now Mom yeah he does let me put it back on the wall now because it's um it's artwork that yeah my mum Texas in happy birthday and she was like did Kristen get my text he's not right he never replies it's like I don't even
(12:06) purposely mean it okay every single person I don't know what it is about it but I just I see it but I just like I'm just I think my head is so [ __ ] yeah to be lost and locked in like I'm just constantly thinking about videos and this this is that's all I'm doing it's like when we do I say an Alex everyday do you know when we finish filming everybody goes back to their normal lives still going like when you leave okay this when you leave I'm in that stockless trance I mean if it helps I go
(12:32) home and I don't switch off at all it's like I'm literally like doing so many things when I get home and by the time I sit down it's like [ __ ] eight o'clock and I'm like okay now I can sit down but when I get home I'm literally I can't stop so much to do but the good thing is when you go back you switch you don't you don't switch on but you do different [ __ ] you just don't clean all this but with me it's like constantly I'm gonna put like midnight you know what I'm
(12:55) saying either playing Tetris or playing in their podcast if you're watching these podcasts or you're obviously watching the wild [ __ ] podcast I don't know why you're still watching it but but these take me days like to prepare like you know I'm saying like it's mad at times I don't just quit half an hour it's like it's like three hours at a time like yo subject so yo if you're watching this appreciate this because I'm trying to keep everyone entertained my brain doesn't stop it
(13:22) like [ __ ] first yeah eats at me as well I'd rather have suckyed myself and then at least that's done go give it give me a little toes wiggle let's see it's all wet oh it's all right it's the base it I just don't oh I'm like curling my toes up like this you're easier do you know like what you're saying do you know one thing when I see it okay it makes me cruel I don't I don't even want you to know people okay this is pretty not even gonna sound bad do you know
(13:52) when people say let's have an arm wrestle yeah okay it tells you there's not anything I can't watch it do you know what like how many times I've seen videos and people in their arms breaks like they'll be doing it and their arms pop out of place what I swear to you okay I reckon I've seen at least 10 videos so if I see that's one thing I scroll off it's just when you're fighting each other it's pops I've never seen that literally a video it'll be on your phone now because your
(14:17) phone's listening to you your whole [ __ ] they swear to you I've watched it the other day there's literally two puny Lads you know I'm saying he won't even [ __ ] strong hands and arms were made of matchsticks maybe you see big [ __ ] bodybuilders they're fighting oh and obviously it pops and gives way [ __ ] that it's minging usually you should have an arm wrestle nah [ __ ] that cause I know for a fact my mama break her bicep or sign or can you imagine yeah don't do it who Jackie we're gonna
(14:45) fight our Jazz and Mum who do you think mum first give me your opinion who'd win a fight who if you and Jazz got into an argument you had to punch up who'd you can win okay now who'd win I wouldn't know so if you don't answer this question but still last in five seconds you're gonna die on pod who'd win a fight are you in jazz five four three I just said I'd have a good day to the gym now my mom said she'd be your ass if she said Jasmine I mean like if you're gonna ask someone who's gonna win
(15:22) You're Gonna Save Yourself no I'd win [Applause] [Laughter] like so you'd train up for like four weeks just have a little bit of fun can I open my present yeah go then Happy Days I want to see what's in yours why have you not got a glass drinking of a [ __ ] Bowl [ __ ] CK what have you got the [ __ ] the [ __ ] up what is it Bang what is it you don't even know what it is in your sighing uh have you gotta put that on what is it what does it say foxy
(16:26) [Music] what's it say I love [ __ ] I can't put it on camera why let's put it over the top okay it's your new outfit for the rest of the episode I love cork mum's got [ __ ] [Laughter] yeah I mean I'd rather wear the white BR than wear a [ __ ] soggy stinky ass [ __ ] sore contents look huge now come on get on yes let's the ultimate have stand up so the camera can see oh God so you've got a nice Hugo Boss beater there you're expecting a massage voucher yeah let me let me on the wall
(17:23) So for anybody watching on Spotify um Jasmine just pulled out a t-shirt that says I love [ __ ] it's the best top and let me just say she doesn't yeah that's out the window yeah she doesn't think's like his own [ __ ] y I'd swear to okay every man's tried and all I can say is I can reach mine I actually licked my bellend I watched like an interview and it's literally a guy saying like he said what's the like weirdest thing you've done and he said Jack to myself off and come to my own
(17:58) mouth oh that's [ __ ] and he was like how did you do that and he said oh well normally I just lay down I get on my back I put my legs behind my and he goes oh let's just do that that's nuts yeah I'm saying every try I wouldn't I wouldn't try to come in my mouth no but I mean even for me that's not that's kind of weird you know what I'm saying have you ever tried licking your own Bean dads no I was gonna say I was gonna ask everyone as a whole but I realized every comment says with the
(18:28) inbred family so then I said Jazz inbred family because what you just ask direct questions yeah it's [ __ ] weird there's no possible way I think a woman could do that no no we have never tried but I don't think about your baked [ __ ] I mean people can have baked beans the size of [ __ ] yeah they actually can it's like click dicks yeah no I'm saying you could probably stick it in Kristen's ass if you had a [ __ ] dick yeah I'm gonna ask someone I put on my um Instagram last night to ask some
(19:01) questions for these guys so I'm going to ask you something okay um Jack says has your mum ever had a friend with benefits have you Mum don't lie come on you've got to answer with your chest buddy don't lie yeah oh what it's lying you're lying like she's flying that's what he's saying mum and the one time with the cupboard he doesn't count because Friends with Benefits is when it goes on you know like for a long period of time no it's not just one shag so say look at the camera
(19:36) I'm a respectful woman I am a respectable woman okay we'll move on now Harvey said would you rather put chill in your eyes or down a bottle of salt chilly in my eyes you'd probably die if you ate that much salt guys that's assault oh I don't think I put you in my house how dry would you be I just before I go on to that try would you be I'm just saying yeah I look like a Chad today like yo rock on dude I look like [ __ ] I Love College hey I feel like I should be driving a big monster truck with like and [ __ ] sipping uh
(20:14) [ __ ] Monster Energy oh I know one of them sorority houses or what they call for guys not the girls but the guy a [ __ ] shot it dude but yeah I like that I want to be like that but the hairline's coming on a couple more weeks I'll stop wearing hats and remember we're gonna be I'm gonna be taking one fan of turkey me in October and giving them a free hair transplant so make sure you subscribe and just follow the pods because it could be you looking like this you know what I'm saying how are you going to
(20:40) choose you're just gonna pick a name up yeah they just got to come in the pods and everybody just pick a name out yeah do it live on not like I'll be like yeah yeah generator yeah okay listen we're gonna do another question now okay um okay this is for you again mum you have to answer okay I don't know okay straight up who is your favorite kid oh bryony I haven't finished it because I finished who is your favorite kid who is your favorite kid girlfriend or boyfriend so who's our favorite partner like oh
(21:16) [ __ ] sorry I'm not making oh imagine she said my ex imagine she said that who is your favorite mum well I don't know you got a gun 10. knew it knew it Ollie because our favorite kid is Briny yes it's automatically her favorite kid's boyfriend or girlfriend it's Ollie so you're saying Ollie is your favorite but yeah you've heard him making noise and your daughter you couldn't even say about that she chose someone that she's not even known as long as the others I I don't
(22:03) know that that's cool it's chosen no I know but I'm saying in fact I know I love them all whatever mate I do back on it goes literally uh okay so no more questions for her yeah let me go through these um why would that make us sweat it's not like she's sucking it she has been hates mum now okay oh someone said here um I guess they're wearing blue awesome can he wear blue for Autism Awareness Day on April the 2nd I'm autistic and I love you yeah they got blue one so happy autistic autism day what today awareness
(22:53) day no it's April 2nd so we're nearly a year early oh um okay yeah keep your mouth trap hold [ __ ] up okay I got a message from Ollie who likes it up the [ __ ] civil polite mature podcast we will not be answering that my [ __ ] heart doesn't get touched anymore you don't be fair no I'm not even gonna ask mum because that means she's got to talk okay they're saying not okay I've got another one here okay this is for you Mum just nod or yes or no was Kristen a mistake no he said nod yeah or shake and you
(23:36) went no hey Natalie um give her a waxing now turn up and rip it off what's that a [ __ ] hair give me more lip positive that's going on the ball of memories we've got the first angry person on the pod [ __ ] attached to your hair wow that's cool though he's going on the wall of memories again mum thank you for yourself [ __ ] yeah now we can't do a lot with that sorry about that I didn't realize it was in your hair well obviously you put it in my [ __ ] house he did it okay okay let's move on no no
(24:28) I didn't I pressed down there okay anyway let's Okay love from Pakistan we love you Pakistan okay let me go on to another one please do a fart Chris and I'd love to see it oh that brings me back this pod's funny it just goes on and [ __ ] on and on and on and on it [ __ ] got him stop anyway I've got I've got and light it up okay um that shouldn't take long um Kristen when will the wedding be never um surprised you spread that out to be honest Jazz looks like a model so why did she choose you Kristen
(25:09) my little model money I'm joking no I hope I'm on batteries you now okay this is all of you are you happy with me that's what I mean but if you know well I don't know you happy with me with you yeah with that guy or you and uh me I guess are you happy are they happy with you oh yeah why not that was Malik my nose is so itchy okay we're gonna go more are they having any Affair be honest and that was from I've got their name cropped out I know this is glitchy has any of you have yet an affair nope
(25:52) no yes you have Mom I know you haven't okay um um oh someone asked here where was it is Jasmine virgin yeah big time yep she's virgin [ __ ] Mary especially now okay so if we were all stranded on an island together who would you eat first you what out of us for yeah I started a big belly yeah [Laughter] she's actually been working out haven't you Mum yep how long have you been training now since September so okay it's September coming up she's gonna post a transformation photo on her Instagram okay what you look like now
(26:43) and before okay so follow her Instagram watch her Instagram mom shout out she doesn't know what's your Instagram handle I can't think she doesn't know I don't get how people don't know their Instagram handles and go follow her I want to know what your Instagram is now Jizzle Hamby oh my God and you didn't know okay cool so go follow her we've got a question for mum who who's child who was the ugliest child when they were born you get a face like a full moon it was massive hey baby
(27:31) mom couldn't even push your head out of her [ __ ] me is that big oh I did oh yeah we're forces oh that was Jonathan he wasn't so Johnny's head was bigger than Kristin no just well no I couldn't get him out but he came out no problem so yo that's the end of the fan questions this week remember I put on Instagram to go over and reply to my Instagram story if you want to ask a question and this is the part I've been looking forward to okay Natalie oh God pass that to Mom what's this all about set it on your
(28:05) lapo okay so they can still see your face on the Pod okay yeah pass them the pens okay we are gonna see who is the dumbest person in the family because my mum and Natalie are the dumbest for sure but we're cool we're gonna find out right now okay so I beat her so I'm better than her anyway I didn't count nobody saw that I'm gonna ask you questions now okay and you've got to answer them okay on your board we donate each obviously yeah yeah it was a bit different yeah why are you holding like that then hold
(28:37) on Natalie's holding it what oh there we go that's the first test and she's already been proven to be done okay I'm gonna ask you some questions now okay you both got to answer them [ __ ] and yeah okay we're gonna start we're gonna start easy and get okay what is 12 times 12. even I know this one I think yeah don't say though you're not stupid like them do I do the the thing really big five four three two one don't know I think she's gonna write all right okay okay next question oh wait no we're
(29:19) not just doing it like no that's why I'm gonna do alternative I've done it massively just do the other one smaller okay cool show what you've got then mine is so wrong okay go ahead and show the camera okay rub yours out mum then and write it in big just the answer it's right in big then Mom's right because I saw Jazz nogs which means I'm wrong don't do that from now on okay three two one what have you got what you got mum mum's right what have you got Nanny what have you got
(29:51) what have you got oh my [ __ ] that'd be that'd be times tenuted next question it doesn't have to be perfect okay what ball is smaller a football a rugby ball a golf ball or a ping pong ball they're gonna get harder trust me I'm just I'm just seeing the levels of Idiocracy three two one okay nice okay ping pong ball it is so remember write it down two my mom one Natalie because there's a four five common sense kind of girl it's a forfeit forever oh my God okay of course there is so you're in a running race okay you're
(30:47) running a race and you take over second place where are you now in the race and remember to write your answers big because moms keeps writing the small right they're massive okay me yes yeah yeah yeah I might say it one more time I'm just saying you're in a running race yeah and you've you take over second place where are you now in this race that's it that's what okay go free wait let me write it two one go oh hey okay okay okay now we're gonna get a bit better so it's currently three two what colors
(31:27) make purple mum knows because she's with Nursery teacher free I don't know two wait wait let me guess don't look three two one blue and red yeah nice okay four three four three are you ready for the next one yeah how many days no how many months have 28 days in them five four three two one if you put all of them well if you put an Ali Feb yeah you're wrong who me yeah I'm wrong yeah every month every month has 28 days oh [ __ ] so yeah another point to Mom oh [ __ ] that makes sense I thought you meant like what's the only month
(32:28) that has 20 years I would have said same as you know [ __ ] that's a trick one it's a trickiest it's Common Sense okay that was a trick okay what is the world's largest country five wait four three [Music] USA both wrong it's Russia is it is it I didn't know that [ __ ] so what's the scoring Giselle five Natalie free okay I've got another one right here okay what are two things you cannot eat for breakfast I think seven what are two things you can't eat for breakfast five four
(33:18) three two one well I mean technically you could eat whatever the [ __ ] you wanted for breakfast yeah but there's something there's two things okay oh two things as I said there's two things yeah Daddy you got it what the [ __ ] you ready to show no let's go show bombs [ __ ] what have you putting that lead you can't eat that any [ __ ] time of the day mate I'll put spank ball in alcohol [ __ ] are you funny [ __ ] you can't eat lunch and dinner oh incense you know what I'm saying hold on
(34:06) bug bowl is [ __ ] dinner mate dinner but where's the lunch mate for our dad no there's people out there I'm gonna ask you one more question well then she's one either way then okay what excuse me I'm saying there's like what gets wet no what gets wetter the more it dries I need some coffee what gets wetter the more it dries I'll do an ASMR whilst you're waiting wetter the more it dries do you know this one remember talking to Mike mum not Jasmine's [ __ ] shoulder why did you put it a little bit forward
(34:57) yeah you're getting sacked you'll never come on the Pod again last time okay no what what yeah we'll get some wetter the more it dries five four three two one I don't know if you've got a swimming pool show your show the camera show the camera mum oh yeah that's a good one as well I'll put my pants and the question answer is a towel oh my God I was gonna say it's Hell by four be funny to say my pants yeah yeah what gets wetter the more it dries the towel gets wet up again this Rises
(35:44) okay so this is the final results Natalie scored three Giselle loquiro Hamby Ludlow Bailey really scored five so Natalie is the dumbest [ __ ] in the family see if they're Dumber but for now you wear the crown of Duncan cool you can open your present mum I'll take that yeah I'll win a minute draw me there you go then you don't like that mic at all do you it's literally like Johnny literally mate go on then put it a little bit forward so it's not always in your face so it can pick up some sort of video
(36:32) what have you got ah woof you got mum hey my mom doesn't drink that camera Alex is recording I'm like pissed as [ __ ] yeah it does how pissed does that camera look in the middle you can't change it now the camera is literally [ __ ] me no more than [ __ ] mum's fingers you've got a choice do you want a shot of whiskey or a shot of vodka yeah good choice she had a dream last night that she had a shot of whiskey as well I [ __ ] threw up everybody Whiskey in the corner please mate it's there Kristen yeah that one's empty no
(37:13) there's one behind it we're behind the Whiteboard I'll have this right in case of throw up oh really I'll call another one today I've got the dentist and don't want them thinking I'm an algae goddamn mark this I love that you're crazy I think I've ever seen you do a shot I've never seen a shot I have to Tequila Rose that would have gone right there sweet [ __ ] you drink when you're like two so got him any last words nend on it Nan did do it pathetic pathetic go get the rest down come on
(38:06) [Music] it's wide enough really John mum open your gullet and swallow it you got this bullet you're making it worse for yourself hey I'll give you high five do you need the Box yeah it's fine you can move the Box off now if you want I'm proud of you nice I like that a lot that's class like I thought you were going to be more of a [ __ ] hole [ __ ] or fam do you know how good didn't it one thing okay I always see on tick tock okay do you know when gal's always like I hate it when a guy doesn't know us
(38:54) I've had my hair done or I hear when the guy doesn't know I've had my eyebrows done or anything I got my eyebrows done last week and not one of you [ __ ] said your eyebrows are nice I saw you get it done yeah I'm saying tables have turned out bridges burn live and learn the other yeah it does that one's higher than that yeah but she's not done them she's just like she's done it with some like Fred things yeah yeah I believe that [ __ ] hurts so what's your thought okay on this now
(39:20) yeah that's what I want to get on it it's no like men that get all their like eyebrows down this this guy what's yours it's like a must or do you reckon because I'm gonna start doing eyebrows all the time I'm my eyebrows until Kristen decides to shave them off I will rinse them off I should put a wax with them once in a way do you want to get the tape back out take back out no no mommy won't take me on her mouth so just put my foot in your mouth forgot about your dirty little foot
(39:56) you're [ __ ] telling me I've not forgot about this thing on my foot honestly my foot's been like this rigid I'm literally my toes are like stiff she's got a stiff foot literally do you know what um what's your this is like you love your animals don't you I love my animals elephant elephant animal related even if I see a snail on the I'll pick it up and go put it in like a bush or like mud and [ __ ] so it's like out the road if you know if you say if animals we're human okay what animal
(40:24) would you recommend be like the rudest and like the [ __ ] at what Jack would be the nicest animal an elephant an elephant would be the nicest yeah 100 yeah to be fair that'd be nice what animal would you have to be a rude [ __ ] wasp oh yeah Wasp that's an insect though same thing no it's not it's not an animal it's a wasp you didn't make up the question I did so it's like the whole scheme like what like Drake and Jack a wasp would be a little [ __ ] with it yeah I reckon so yeah I'm trying to think anything that
(40:54) flies around you [ __ ] is annoying well butterflies are cute I'm trying to think of other ones there but other animals would be like butterflies do you think they're cute but they just I like butterflies yeah because they don't have enough power or like to actually but they're pretty you go near and they fly off their coffee little sweat wine near me I always want one to land on me when I went to the zoo the other week I stood there like please land on me please land on Me One landed on me well I got a
(41:19) picture what other animals I'm just trying to think [ __ ] a bird and it shits on you but that's you gotta say what type of bird nah seagulls they're like flying rats pigeons would be Karen's seagulls would be like seagulls are like um Chads that love their energy drinks they just [ __ ] they're just yeah [ __ ] seagulls would be from Leeds as well if they were from a country I'd say for sure given leads that felt nicer again do it do it oh no not for you to put her hair don't pinch me to be fair like she did
(41:54) pinch you the first time I don't know about your vest yeah you love what that's cool I like that oh that's gonna be a [ __ ] sick [ __ ] going out top mate I don't go out I don't have a life anymore I was a single mum for 48 hours yeah and I got stuck in the airport and to be fair I was trying to get home that would have been graft this is not even that far away from home and you're just sat there like that hungry I've just zoned out and I just want to [ __ ] I want to leave I Johnny text me
(42:28) and I went my first response was I bet Kristen's livid why sitting in the [ __ ] airport for 12 hours me [ __ ] [ __ ] so and I got a two and a half hour head massage and it goes to the point okay I wanted to cry because it was hurting oh do you know when like a [ __ ] massage and it was like and I was just I was lying I had to waste time and literally for about two days not now well like not two days it wasn't two days ago but like 24 hours off ever done it it hurts it's sore it's so [ __ ]
(42:53) sore I bet it though it was good for you get the circulation moving around your Bloody Brain it was [ __ ] just there maybe you'll get some new ideas yeah maybe yeah yeah I'm saying I'm such a dumb [ __ ] wow you just took that from like you know I was thinking you know you get some good fresh ideas and you just come in and say dumb [ __ ] okay they're there you know what I'm saying I reckon oh I just had a sick idea okay if you and Jasmine don't do what I say right now you're getting bad luck for 48
(43:22) hours okay why me I because it's because it'll be funny I'm gonna spit a beat box and you two are gonna have a rap battle I can't do this bad luck no no okay so mum you're gonna start I'm gonna beatbox okay and you've got a rapper Jazzy don't get don't be out yeah but like yeah so I'm gonna start rapping okay and you've got a rap at Jazzy ready three two my name is Jazzy you're winning so far though [Music] my name is Jazzy boom boom boom I might have a baby girl called Emmy oh
(44:09) my God I'm dying inside this just deserves bad luck for the fact it's just I just give up just say anything no I can't do it my name is Jazzy and I have a baby called Emmy is that what you really just said wow no I'll drive over the bud book come on and the bad luck is going to be your whole family die oh God right now oh yeah and and that starts as soon as the pot ends if the bad luck thirsty mate I should have chugged that in the mic I could hear that from yeah oh do you know what I forgot to [ __ ]
(44:53) wear I've got it on there as well don't say it because do I go put it on or do I save for the next pod now okay yo why did you do this do this to me I'm having the bad luck does you're not having to buy like your whole family is and the order it's going to go and it's gonna be it's gonna be okay okay I'll give you some say them okay you whisper well good mate and I don't ever think you can you can't that's our board now because I've got that bad luck I don't want anyone I
(45:33) don't know that's your fault well no it's gonna start okay then the first person it will start with it's gonna be sure oh it's gonna be your mum and then your grandma and then you Gabby and then Emily yeah and then your grandpa so yo just spit two lines and then the battle is done okay so I don't want no one to die I'm just running okay okay as soon as I beat two lines okay [Music] bar he's got a butt in the gut because this I know for that [Music] no no just come on okay go no no just say two lines I can't think of
(46:33) one minute just say two things I can't think of one there's a little bit [ __ ] rhyme say two sentences please to say two sentences when I beatbox okay to say something about it pink [Laughter] I want to what what to look sick I can't think of anything exactly two things to say yeah and then at least if you say it he made it
(47:37) okay so then at least it's not you know you're not actually offending her and I'm trying to speak so nobody can hear you Whispering me because you can't whisper for [ __ ] at the moment this is it you've got this jazz my name is [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] you're gonna say some Venom in any direction [Music] [Laughter] I'm getting a headache yeah so yo
(48:40) Jasmine one thing she didn't come back to her she said you had a big fat stinky [ __ ] I didn't know certainly ain't gonna think he can't well you didn't respond to it then you didn't respond to it comment on these pods if you want subtitles too because she doesn't talk into Mike and she talks foreign do you watch TV with subtitles yeah yeah I hate you can't watch it can you no I have to look at the subtitles I actually read it more than I look at the screen it's weird as [ __ ] I can't help anymore
(49:11) yeah I I love subtitles what are you doing nothing Jasmine loves [ __ ] now I love you top oh yeah we still need to pick a winner for a hoodie so yo I'm gonna pick who has she got a forfeit because she lost the uh look at her [ __ ] little scavenger I forgot to mention about the um PO Boxes we had anything or no I haven't even checked oh do we have to go get it yeah oh okay well it doesn't come to you you thick [ __ ] does it so y'all comment on this video um not comment we're gonna comment the P.O box in the description
(49:46) send us a little parcel or anything it can be [ __ ] a load of spunk and my mom can try drink it it can be [ __ ] [ __ ] in a bucket I'll put it in my ass it can be [ __ ] pubic hair Jasmine let's stick it to her Fanny it can be [ __ ] someone's [ __ ] use toothbrush not a little [ __ ] put in that Fanny but there's anything okay it can be it could be anything that's the PO boxes in the comment isn't it yeah the time this pods out we're probably gonna have 10 000 Subs which is pretty good you know what I'm saying ten
(50:15) thousand people watching the world's shares podcast cheers guys it's been a hell of a ride we're recording this on a Thursday it needs to be edited by tomorrow so Alex has got some work to do for one working on the weekend yeah the [ __ ] doesn't work ever [ __ ] he just goes for walks of his buddies down the wall he go what do you do Alex he goes to Walks With Buddies down the pier Julie come say hello you want to take my seat memory my foot's all [ __ ] soggy and stinks does your foot smell like it's wet and
(50:51) damp so yeah that was mental oh do you know what's crazy I used to eat bite my toenails you did yeah I used to do you ever bite your toenails I used to bite my [ __ ] toenails all right [ __ ] off now Natalie [ __ ] off Natalie stock on mate that's it my foot's soggy as [ __ ] you're gonna get Alex improvise his moment he's been waiting for this it's like [ __ ] Britain's Got Talent so yeah hello how are you mate yeah I'm good thank you how are you yeah Scott looks a bit different today I've seen a comment
(51:30) I don't know if we're going to talk about it but Scott is Scott still on the Pod guys he's not you guys not in the Pod anymore yeah just thought we'd let yeah yeah it just didn't fit his schedule um I respect that so we're gonna move on so um Natalie's taking Scott's seat Jasmine's taking Natalie's old seat and um Jay-Z is never coming back on the Pod there's last minute to shine before what you got quickly [ __ ] off I'm I'm pretty happy for the little beatbox
(51:56) um to put some bars okay I'm gonna beatbox yeah go for it cool this is moment to shine let me have a quick little two minute thing right now okay you've got 30 seconds and I'm [ __ ] off okay because this is the end of this world [ __ ] it's pod what this is off the top of the dome which he calls I'm never picking up the phone the best part of my day is when she goes home yeah and when I want to go home and when dizzy goes home he gets the bone I feel free I can't wait till she goes back so me and Kristen can play FIFA on
(52:37) the TV oh Natalie thank you for the wedding invite I'm going to that shine I have booked my flight I will be there thanks for the invite how funny when Alex first started working he's driving the car we'll put beats and I teach them how to Freestyle you say we used to do that you still do that yeah yeah but how funny he just done that an American accent oh yeah so yo I'm gonna do a tricking them out okay watch this yo make sure to subscribe to the wild chess podcast we love you all send [ __ ] to PO Box Alex is over wild freestyle
(53:18) rapper now at that camera guy Alex follow me on Instagram I'm growing up yay do you need a fart or anything are you good to know let me see if I can get one out and don't forget to turn into the lighter I've got one mom and don't forget to follow me on Instagram see how the light has not been used again but it's gonna go there thank you very much thank you thank you for watching thank you for wasting your [ __ ] time and you know if you're watching this podcast this podcast if you're watching on Spotify you're
(53:45) watching on Spotify I'm sorry for ruining your [ __ ] car Journey yo if it's Alex hope you guys are enjoyed the podcast um something that me and Kristen are really enjoying producing you know I spend [ __ ] 400 hours a week on this and we yeah someone's fun to us [Music]