EP:10 What Happens When Females Take Viagra? Is a Real Life Purge Possible & Biggest Misconceptions

Spreading Rumours Podcast by Kristen Hanby Episode 10. 
New episodes every Sunday @2pm.

Join Kristen, Natalie, Nan, and Jasmine on a wild ride in episode 10 of the Spreading Rumours podcast. They discuss everything from Kristen's journey to beat his gambling addiction to protesting at the Grand National, hay-fever, and the etiquette of peeing in the bath. Discover their answers to insane fan questions and the biggest misconceptions in life. The gang explores what they would do in a real-life purge and zombie apocalypse, take shots, and reveal hilarious naughty things that can be said both at the dinner table and in bed. Find out what men really do in the bathroom and how many ladybirds it would take to kill Natalie. With raunchy revelations and a healthy dose of humour, this episode is not to be missed! Tune in to the Spreading Rumours podcast now!

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Transcript

another week another episode of spreading rumors spreading doogies so we've got Jazzy we've got Nana we've got Natalie I'm saying we alcohol involved with these pods you get a bit looser and everybody's a bit more chill so we're going to start again as this is like standard procedure that you have to start up a shop so yo a fresh bottle Here We Go pass it down to Nelly

because I feel like sometimes when people are near there but not regular stupid you know when like is that when you go on a night out if you go on a night out in your nightclub with no alcohol in you oh my God it's like it's literally just like you don't want to be here did there was everyone's just like having one and you're just like I bet you realize how stupid people look when they're actually drunk but they're in the same level you get a few drinks down you and you're [ __ ] gonna get on your neck what we happy happy [ __ ] happy [ __ ] Wednesday

we've done a Saturday we've done a Friday we've done a Tuesday we've done a Wednesday oh

oh my God happy Wednesday

guys

lovely yes oh God it's a good start as mad as it sounds I was like actually it warms you up it's good for you it's probably good for a diet as well because it's whiskey you gotta get on your neck I said Jasmine looks like an ice Lolly today like a really summery when you just want to lick

do what I do find about alcohol like just I was my stomach was full on like rumbling when we were sat here before and I thought oh because I haven't eaten yet so you know [ __ ] sake here we go my Something's Gonna Be growling now that one shot yeah will be enough to completely just I won't be hungry now so yo happy [ __ ] Wednesday

I know that reminds me of this my throat's on fire like summer just like getting [ __ ] up but yo when Lots happened this week I finally got over my gambling addiction kind of yeah right right how what do you think of my gambling addiction Jazz no it's still gambling yeah but it's set himself a limit so is it 100 pound a day I'm only allowed to I'm only allowed to gamble 100 pounds a day so you're not over there that's fine now like because it's not as bad but I was doing it what did I end the weekend I lost like seven Grand Sky Bet was ringing me yesterday wanted to speak to me what because all my accounts have been banned but why bringing you because it's in my name and what were they bringing you about well I see to see why there's so much to see if everything's all right probably yeah yeah so every account a gambling account I've ever had in my life has been banned because I think it's like customer service they look out for you make sure you don't like so then you go I've gone through everyone I've gone through Johnny got here's a band I went through Scott's got his band I went from Alex has got his band he got it unbanned so right now so right now I'm currently gambling again on Alexis oh my God Jasmine they've put a limit on it they've got a phone up I'm like but yo it's a good week I've literally taken a step back and I'm only doing 100 pound Max you don't gambled let's get you around 100 pounds a day [Applause]

like to go into the shops and we buy the little scratch cards we do that just for shits and giggles but but you know what I don't gamble you know what I heard and this is how crazy it is every addiction is and every Addiction in life is a gamble do you know like [ __ ] drink drivers you know like if you're like what did I read last night if you drink Drive yeah I'm saying no was it the Edward addiction I can't remember what he said but it's every oh I can't remember what he said now but it were in my head it sounded so good yeah it was like like not every every risk you take is at risk you take as a gamble I'm not sure now but it's like having sex unprotected risk yeah drink driving is a gamble you know what I'm saying so every decision you're making is a gamble so I'm fine what are your thoughts on Gambling Man only gamble I gambled on the great grand national five pounds yeah what are you wearing no mine fell on the second one you're out of order I know I don't watch that [ __ ] no more no no well I've seen a video I don't really do it but I've seen a video of a day a horse and literally I wanted to cry it jumped over it broke his neck and it's dead I swear to I literally wanted to cry that shit's horrible so sad want the um protesting this year yeah but it didn't really do anything did it okay there was one they're gluing themselves to the fences yeah but they got um arrested and then they glad they get arrested for that though because obviously but it's fair like it's a fair I know they're not in their eyes it's like people said when people run on a football pitch with a [ __ ] shirt and they're protesting something on the football hitch you can prepare something in your own place oh okay do you know what I've done this week yeah if you're watching this comment okay if you think it's normal to piss in the bath only though if it's a clear piss have you pissed in the bar before never ever never ever I've piss in the shower yeah that's that's not that's a giveaway [ __ ] in the shower but now if you um have you pissed in the bath before no I have not why because I think it's not nice to do that no but if you're in the bath if you what you do is if you need a piss bag you don't want to get out you do a tester you like let a bit of piss out if it's yellowy you stop that's the rule but if it's Crystal Clear you let it go I was in the bath the other day out on three pisses back to back that's disgusting and I was in the bath for about an hour and a half

like I'll go for a wee before I get in the bath but then like I'll be in it and then 10 minutes say it's like oh [ __ ] I need a piss I'm just piss in the bath okay it's your water I give a [ __ ] yeah there's not more in there that dilutes that [ __ ] so yeah

yeah hay fever's on a roll now isn't it mate hey Bieber [ __ ] hell [ __ ] that was not how many was that [ __ ] off so yeah when this summer comes I get really bad hay fever no you're not you're just allergic to Jasmine yeah I can't yeah Emmy does it as well though Amy doesn't she does well she does like five so when I do like ten she must look at me thinking he is the master so there's anybody else when they like when the hay fever season comes you sneeze I've done like 13 before but it's got to the point my [ __ ] and Gooch let's go get a sharp pain I I know when I sneeze too many times I get like pins and needles in my head it's [ __ ] there's anything it's like you're like you think you're dying yeah like why the [ __ ] am I getting pins and needles in my head now but it's weird that you're like that because me and Johnny aren't at all yeah no one is in the Family Guy fever in the family yeah [ __ ] no mate it's pretty my [ __ ] huge [ __ ] oh God here we go here we go here we go here we go because it's dragging along the floor and picking up all the pollen

I said we're on the Pod today with these three send us in some um questions you want I've screen shot loads of them because someone don't even make sense but someone said oh um oh I've got a notification there what uh what's their name Lewis said I want to say a second name he said out of you three who gives a better [ __ ] what you asked that question yeah I said how the [ __ ] would we know that I don't know how she gives it but no job Nan definitely doesn't know how to give blow jobs

for about 50 years old is gold though well whatever but you've not given a [ __ ] any other blow job in a long time so what's the answer to Lewis's question who gives a better blowy well I don't know how Jasmine gives a blowy I'm not gonna lie Jasmine gives a [ __ ] lip glowy put his way right I've been able to to get Reuben to blow his load without even touching his COG wow bum hole oh [ __ ] that is bull bags that's where I just that's mad yeah that's one thing man I just been there I was shocked that I was able to do that I just I just did this one thing like going near the [ __ ] I'm like now chill not chill now I'm saying it's like I'm saying brace it I know yeah I break I'm I'm chill but just now just stay away from my [ __ ] just clean it that thing's only meant for toilet roll yeah I'm saying and even then I've seen some guy on Tick Tock the other day he says he doesn't even wipe his ass with tissue paper because it saves you [ __ ] once a day you wipe your ass you're pretty slowly just like just ruining the Skin So I'm guessing like you're just ruining skin but I'm saying you're just making that area not as nice so this guy what he does as soon as he shits he goes in the shower cleans all his ass all right that's fair enough I thought you just meant he left yes that's so nice so like he keeps his [ __ ] I actually seen a story I can't remember what it was on now and it was of a guy that never ever wiped his ass when he went for [ __ ] and then when he'd go to the gym he'd go in the hot tub and he'd wash his ass in the hot tub I've got a hot tub here to be fair we can use it no don't do it the bubbles okay so if you answered your question is Louis we don't know okay how would we know that okay I'm going through these okay someone called Joe said does Natalie like taking it up the ass

yeah if I'm because I used to I go through phases where I'm all about it and then I go through Facebook I'm like ah [ __ ] stay away from me so yeah Joe answer the question is yes you used to used to someone called Engelbert don't know that name is but it's a cool name ask Jasmine at what age she lose her virgin 16.

snag how old was you they didn't ask me the question he was 19. yeah okay Nan this is for you from Yaz huh yeah I'm not going to say a second name it's got a cool name has mishnan ever had a triosum or lesbian thing going on 70 flower power you know tongue out Emoji never so you've never had two people at once no so say hello say to the camera yes no giant no okay we got another one here from um Palms oh it's not really a name but have you ever farted while your partner has been down on you never never ever I never have never have none have you ever farted

I can't remember ah you Cheeky Monkey I've seen the devil on your shoulder up here definitely [ __ ] has that face just said it all it took us straight back to that memory for 1942. that long ago yeah you [ __ ] on a bag Els loose mate you know it's crazy though

[Music]

I was crazy about this you know like whenever you've been sucking the air the amount of times I've thought [ __ ] it should I do a little far and film it and see what she does but I've never I've never ever felt I won't be that disrespectful Reuben's done that to me but I want to try it but then it's just at a level of like I don't actually want to disrespect you right yeah yeah would you I might like that though yeah it's like it's like you say it just ruins it you have to you have told me that before though Danny boy I said a second name because you know what I'm saying he says Danny Rankin he says this ain't a question but thanks to your podcast we now play a drinking game every time Kristen says you know what I'm saying we Down The Show by the end of your podcast with your [ __ ] blooded cheers hand me gang love the podcast love your family take care you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying that's five shots Danny Boy Legend okay now I don't even know how to pronounce his name it's this j-n-r-m-r-z what is Nan's body count man what what is your body count I don't know yeah how many people have you slept with one okay her body count is one oh is that all that means I was thinking body count is that like BMI or yeah did you know what that meant yeah [ __ ] me I had no idea no either Joe Joe said I heard I heard her confession to show about leaving streaks on the sheets I want to know if he saw them I'm wrong and misunderstood I apologize no disrespect oh no no he did he he he did and he kept making fun of me so basically we had stayed at my brother's girlfriend's house at the time and it was the spare room so obviously we'd known so I was like get off the [ __ ] bed now and you take these sheets off I'm [ __ ] stuffing them inside Lara's washed like her parents washing machine and then in the morning he's winding me up like God I'm gonna tell them I'm like you [ __ ] and I'm like oh I'm

machine for you just like for I'd be like you know helpful and he was like and why is that I was like shut the [ __ ] up it's something about [ __ ] it's just shit's [ __ ] nuts I mean at the time I was literally mortified Reuben didn't seem to give a [ __ ] but like I was so embarrassed but you know I just crazy if you think about what the [ __ ] is [ __ ] I know it's obviously [ __ ] you've eaten but how does it turn brown thing and come and how does it compact into this long shape well they've made a character out of it on South pass because what's it what's it called what's the character on South Park it's called is it the little poo man what's it the little floating poo what's it called I don't know [ __ ] what's the South Park character called that a floating [ __ ] no idea Mr Hanky the Christmas Pooh is that but you know what I'm saying have you ever looked at your [ __ ] in the toilet and it's just together and it's just like how has that thing built up in my body but how good does it make you feel once you get it out I feel like I lose about a stone what shit's your favorite one to pass mine is the one where like you've eaten something [ __ ] and it falls out spits out like water oh so IBS and you're just there like this feels like you [ __ ] you [ __ ] shooting bullets at your ass the question best part is though the best part is when you go to wipe it's all over your ass cheeks that's IBS I love that it's just because it's like a shop because it's like your body is in pain no I don't like that your body's in pain from wanting this [ __ ] and you go to wipe it you you've got to get tissue wipe your ass cheeks and it's all wet and brown I like the dry ones the dry ones yeah the ghost ones yeah but you're wiping it's just clean yeah Happy Days you don't go you don't go to the toilet in a rush you just walk to the toilet normal sit there it comes out but the ones where you're like oh

what's your favorite type of [ __ ] to pass man shit's 24 7. she thinks my dinner made her [ __ ] last night there wasn't even any [ __ ] salt in it I went twice last night and twice and she goes and she goes it's because of your dinner maybe it won't be because my dinner what type of [ __ ] were you doing this morning was it wet or hard

because obviously when you walk you fart yeah I know always yeah every time you walk through your cups and you fart three times and don't even notice a bit do you ever [ __ ] why'd you do them farts no never liar you wouldn't admit it anyway I want us to call never I reckon what we should do is we for Nan I reckon we get a little pot in there and for one podcast you've got to do a poo live we can see how you what happens oh now do you [ __ ] want your ass like what the [ __ ] how do you get your hand all the way around the back she doesn't she doesn't mate she probably does it so sloppy and that's why she [ __ ] has about six showers a day because she wipes [ __ ] in her [ __ ] I'm telling you now I never have [ __ ] in my pants never ah where the [ __ ] it's okay you're 81 it's allowed no mine's never allowed where does Mom get it from then that she shits God knows do you know what else is crazy thinking the toilet do you know one thing that makes me my skin crawl I don't even know why do you know when you want a flight yeah yeah like no not like recently you know what I'm saying because I get the [ __ ] bed ones now where I lie down you know what I'm saying prior to this yeah do you know I used to be on a flight but you're not the NC and you need a piss but the [ __ ] on the end is [ __ ] asleep and you've got to just be like you you take like 10 minutes to build up the [ __ ] courage

you try like climbers [ __ ] nuts I'm gonna sweat you one time I woke up but like do you know when you don't fully wake up to make it awkward some guy was climbing over me so I just stayed asleep the whole time and let him do it he had to climb back over me I didn't want to wake

it was [ __ ] nuts that [ __ ] makes my [ __ ] it's like what other awkward situations are like that when you've got to say something but you're like trying to think I don't know but Lexi said something to me in France the other day and it was like I was asking the guy over the counter I can't remember what it was for now and Lexi turned to me and goes now I know where I get my awkwardness from

sorry what I can't speak French like obesity I'm being awkward because I can't like he doesn't understand me I don't understand him like we're going back and forth it's awkward like I just thought like really it's going on but yeah it's crazy because she is that shit's awkward but the thing is that is she's very awkward she's so awkward and she does she really used to be best friend she doesn't even say hot she's like I'll come upstairs upstairs Lexi's in the corner on an iPad don't even know him behind the table

don't think we're cool nah she's yeah it's weird yeah I know I can't speak French can't you [ __ ] can you speak French now can you I think you spoke French once on a podcast you can speak Jersey French I've only had one shot of it I feel a bit like oh yeah I feel [ __ ] I feel worse than they did when I had three but I've not eaten today neither of them I bought some eggs so why the [ __ ] are we not eating why are none of us eating and then we've had whiskey well you're about to have another one in the minute man you're living in high life I know hey now what would you do okay picture this scenario right now you're in bed asleep I've snuck in your house I've got your Kettle I've taken a fat [ __ ] in your Kettle closed it gone out your house you've woke up okay you've turned your kettle on to making a [ __ ] cup of tea you boiled the kettle next thing you know you open it what's that smell fat [ __ ] boiled in your Kettle what are you doing ah well I think Kristen's been about it because I've wanted to do that for a while for a video but I know on the internet will get deleted but I have one funny thing like the stuff that you we actually do half that [ __ ] you couldn't even post the [ __ ] that we do post is like that's tame I want to do it so bad I want to [ __ ] in someone Kettle and watch them turn on to make a cup of tea and really imagine that do it just off camera but then like you see you wouldn't even be able to record yourself [ __ ] in a kettle like she wouldn't even be allowed on the internet now I don't remember [ __ ] the [ __ ] that used to be on the internet [ __ ] two girls one cup oh maybe it was crazy like they're allowed [ __ ] in each other's mouths but I think that [ __ ] I think the thing is [ __ ] like I could post I can monetize because I'd only posted for making [ __ ] Doogie yeah well obviously so I mean that's how bad it's got like look at the [ __ ] jackass look at that [ __ ] I know that was [ __ ] funny like can't do that [ __ ] these days I wanna [ __ ] just [ __ ] in the kettle oh we should we should do a video we all sharing a kettle boil it and the first one to move the last one to leave the kettle wins cash so everyone shits it burning and it's [ __ ] cooking it'll turn into diarrhea yeah it would just watery [ __ ] much crazy not in my Kettle man [ __ ] yeah it's my catalog's on its way out this weekend this weekend man I'm sneaking in your house and I'm gonna [ __ ] in your Kettle and we're gonna talk about the experience next week on the pod

no I don't I'll make sure I keep the key in my pocket she puts up her [ __ ] is that loose yeah you did see your ass always lose oh yeah so this is what I was being talking about okay like I've I went on a few websites last night okay to make sure they were right and I was like I don't even know the word researching the biggest misconceptions in life right [ __ ] we're made to believe okay that isn't true okay hair and nails grow after you die is that not true it's not true growing at the whole my whole life people told me if you when you die your hair and your nails still grow because apparently tissue requires energy to sustain growth but that's impossible once your body shuts down that does make sense how [ __ ] is that for some reason I don't know who even told me that [ __ ] dig up a grave and they're like [ __ ] all bones and then I in my head I picture these [ __ ] masses yeah it's weird isn't it it's crazy another one that I got to hold holding baby birds and chicks make its mother neglect it is that not true and it's not true so I went I've read this I went on like five or six different things read the [ __ ] [ __ ] why in apparently that's not true so where the fox is this all common I know because I remember apparently if you see chicken I remember it would disown it apparently yeah that's crazy the [ __ ] being apparently your people everything yeah

now growing up I got told your blood your blood is blue before it hits oxygen insane [ __ ] off no no no because if you look at your veins mate they're blue yeah apparently literally apparently a darker shade of red I was reading it last night yeah but when you when you get a needle in your vein it come you it comes out red yeah yeah that's true and that doesn't hit oxygen does it tell you what do you mean so you you then has got blood in it yeah yeah and the blue that's probably maybe the color of the cell or something I literally whatever color the vein is apparently I read on like six stiff correct me if I'm wrong on this video say no Hamby you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] that's wrong my veins are blue so yeah veins are blue your [ __ ] pink but [ __ ] comes out Brown true you know what I'm saying my [ __ ] Bell ends purple my spunk's [ __ ] green cause I've got chlamydia probably yeah it won't surprise me yeah correct me if I'm wrong but I went on like six websites to make sure and there was like proper studies why but I couldn't be asked to read that [ __ ] I don't think I believe I don't think I don't think I believe that one I I could believe the other ones but that one I'm I'm not sure because veins are blue okay that's what I'm saying yeah mine are like flat out blue your Skin's not blue or red and it still comes out Yes mine like why is your skin not blue or red now you've got no veins you're dehydrated love Yeah Nan's just got [ __ ] dude I have got veins my darling okay another one okay um so yeah correct me if I'm wrong hey Danny if you're still watching the Pod you know what I'm saying have that shot you little prick

okay nothing here Bulls the color red doesn't enrage a bull apparently it's the motion of swinging something because apparently Bulls can only see in blue and yellow what crazy is that but how do they know that yeah Partners they probably [ __ ] stuck their [ __ ] in its eye and [ __ ] I don't know go anyway yes correct the wrong game but I looked I looked at literally multiple things I was like another one goldfish have a free second memory apparently goldfish have one of the best [ __ ] they're one of the smartest fish you can get it's weird you actually say this because we went to the aquarium on the weekend and we were looking at the fish like just whatever and I turned to Reuben and I was like what do you reckon these cuts of thinking they're just literally in a tank just swimming around the same [ __ ] area he goes oh no idea I think they they forget after three seconds I went sorry that's a myth I believe fish [ __ ] know exactly what's going on because of course you can't find why would they forget they're not [ __ ] doors that's it if I was a fish oh my cock's massive freeze eggs

look at the size of my [ __ ] yeah every three seconds I'd just be sewing [ __ ] intrigued about how fat my [ __ ] is [ __ ] knows what I'm talking about okay I got more [ __ ] [ __ ] shaving your leg hair makes it grow quicker pan is a myth but that's not though because I will shave my legs and I'm not even [ __ ] joking about four hours later they can't spike it yeah because you shaved and that's probably the way your body grows and you've probably not realized but but everyone's are like that though yeah you shaved it it grows back shaves it grows back doesn't mean it grows back quicker each time people say if you shave your [ __ ] hair it'll go back quicker when I was like [ __ ] 16 had one face I used to shave I used to shave no hair and hope it grow back but apparently it's a myth really apparently I'm all I'm saying is I've gone off sites yeah I've not actually scientifically proven this [ __ ] yeah biggest misconceptions okay I've got more waking someone up why is there sleepwalking will give them a heart attack oh my God I never used to wake you up for that exact [ __ ] apparently apparently yeah they might jump but apparently it's impossible to give someone a heart attack from that I always wake you up yeah apparently it's impossible so yeah if you're watching this wake that person up that [ __ ] [ __ ] him in the [ __ ] pool yeah I'm saying so yeah I got more um what one's got here carrots make you see in the dark yes that's but that's a load of rubbish yeah apparently that's a [ __ ] myth as well yeah why the [ __ ] with a carrot meat you see in the dark line apparently it's bunny but growing up you oh I'm gonna eat my [ __ ] camera yeah I know it's like [ __ ] as well I don't even have this one written down but apparently if you eat the crust yeah your hair went [ __ ] curved curly to be fairly

oh

if you could yeah if you right now in your head you could create a social experiment to see what happened what would it be is there anything you you'll have to try that and see what actually happened in life

laughs you know what I'm saying none is there anything like I'll start with mine said my spark an idea yeah I want if I had the power to make it happen Okay like not any bad way I would love to actually do a real life purge literally for 24 hours and actually see what would happen so you can see the movie that like I'm guessing it might be the same but I would love to see what actually happened I'll make sure I'm in some like bulletproof stair-proof glass house that no one could get me and just watch from them watch from the inside let's just see how people actually react when they're given permission to do some Madness I have fought that to be fair when I've watched the films I imagine if that was actually real life that would be fun but picture how many people like I'd love to see who would come try smash that glass and try do me in try to kill me because they're a little bit of [ __ ] jealous [ __ ] out there though that would happen there'd be loads of [ __ ] they'd all come for us yeah the ones that don't like it I said before us like [ __ ] we'd make the podcast from like this unbreakable see-through glass and with the podcast the [ __ ] [ __ ] is podcasts in the world was all you Contour out there murdering each other trying to kill us gives the pods that [ __ ] what would you do if you can't some social experiment uh

for dinner don't know

no I'm sorry but I'm gonna have the Wolves reverse here because it's like that with me but Reuben what you want for dinner oh don't mind oh he's that give me a [ __ ] [ __ ] idea yeah having anything yeah tell me I want to hear a social experiment look up think off the top of my head maybe like thought nose maybe you're hidden and you you're supposed to be me to see how I act when I'm drunk I'd love to do that see I just gave you your idea because you can't think you don't have the [ __ ] brain capacity to think like Harry Potter with his clerk like Harry Potter with his clothes yeah that'd be you yeah yeah literally so that would be yours what would yours be Nan if you could try any social experiment

there's another one I can't think is there anything you'd ever want to try out and see how yeah cool [ __ ] this podcast has one brain cell and I own that brain cell

I mean like if a zombie apocalypse broke out I've watched that [ __ ] many Walking Dead episodes I think I'm I I know exactly what I do so picture this okay you [ __ ] you've obviously gone to bed you [ __ ] followed through all night because you chose to do that over eating tonsil stones but anyway you woke up you've got [ __ ] in your pants you've gone to have a wash you've opened your curtains just zombies everywhere but you just wouldn't leave so yeah but they're coming to break down your house you've got a [ __ ] can you say do what you just [ __ ] said and just make the whole thing like yeah you can't do that on the spot where you [ __ ] get the materials for that I'm talking they're coming for your front door they've got claws that can rip through wood they'll eat you once they get in if they bite you you become a [ __ ] zombie oh I'm [ __ ] joining them yeah oh yeah you're becoming a zombie I'm becoming a [ __ ] zombie I'd be [ __ ] useless you're gonna try or you're just gonna say eat me well I mean like what could you do do you know what I do then if that was the case I'd find the fittest looking zombie get my [ __ ] out and say buy this you slaying so I start [ __ ] at least getting knocked off before I come a zombie and I'll then know what it's like to get sucked off by a zombie I'm saying You Gotta Have You Gotta Be You can't just you probably already have take me [ __ ] yeah she went the fingers or you wouldn't get your duck your dick sucked you get it [ __ ] chomped right fine [ __ ] it yeah I'm saying that I can say then you bleed to death you can no but then it will like a [ __ ] zombie skin scar tissue Grove and I become a zombie of no dick and I'm [ __ ] a rare zombie the aliens are like yo I've never seen a zombie like that they take me and I've now become this big zombie non-dick monster in space stuff that's that and then guess what I then start going around biting dicks off a dick for your own so you're like oh I'm gonna take this one I stopped eating dick but then another planet like yo we need to get rid of him because he's [ __ ] ruining that alien [ __ ] place they take me to theirs and guess what everyone up there doesn't have a dick and they're all zombies and they're all in this planet because of [ __ ] gobbled them all they got taken there but then there's one female zombie and we're trying to fight for her yeah but then another planet comes along and tries to take her because they want to save her but why is that taking her I've got hold of her ankle and guess what I'm taking to this [ __ ] planet I'm the only male and everyone up there has got a vagina and I just left the [ __ ] Feast on zombie vagina for the rest of my life I'm the only [ __ ] male zombie up there with no dicks they think I'm one of theirs but I'm not so on on the sly you know what I'm saying I want whatever you're on me let me find out single-handedly that I'm this non-dick monster that doesn't have a fanny so then they all want to date me and they start fighting over me and then it becomes today as just one of these [ __ ] aliens yes with no [ __ ] Fanny and me and we're the only two left on this planet and then we have a kid and that kid goes back down and takes over that planet and we become one we take over the world that way this is probably how the world started that is how the world started what the [ __ ] just happened to you I know you are right I actually have another shot oh

I have one more no no that is how the [ __ ] that's my conspirator how the world started do you agree with it yep did it sound like it could be true no me that's the [ __ ] weirdest thing I've ever heard yesterday on the train just well let's do two and that's it you said one yeah that was it no but yeah [ __ ] that felt like right to Kristen's conspiracy that's a [ __ ] movie well you know what you need to do mate you need to [ __ ] start making movies next that's a [ __ ] movie to make well I don't know I [ __ ] must have smoke sign yeah we like to drink with Natalie yeah you will yeah well yeah mcfari's still got like another four hours in this podcast talking about my zombie non-duck dick down the Nets no feel the burn

lovely

and then pass it down here because you're next oh God no more what's important is comment on what you think of my Nan's jumper combo with her hair because I think it looks nice that's why she wore it because it was Kristen approved I think it looks really cool me I'm oh my God an account

last night me I'm going to reach out to a company and I will pay the money to back that movie because if you watch it that was lit what just [ __ ] within the phone within the first two minutes of the movie a zombie bites my dick off [ __ ] of course we're watching that movie and then you're walking around just biting dicks off to try and make yours grow back and then you've got [ __ ] girls walking around with teeth in their vaginas like I'm saying I'm telling you there's something there's money to be made with that [ __ ] hurry up man you're saying I had a dream last night was gonna have them now puked if you puke that's a viral Tick Tock I was gonna eat on that one oh there you go then get down you do it my mouth's watering you know in your mouth Waters and it's like I'm like and if you do just be sick in your hands and stick it in your own ass just down at your [ __ ] Man's having two whiskey shots that's pretty crazy to be fair yeah she did two last time did you do two last time yeah one go and you can do it so we just let Nan should we not maybe do two things you don't maybe wanna you do it for our jazz I'm very sorry I can't no no that's good I just because Nan struggles to walk up the stairs as it is so imagine her trying to walk up the stairs after two shots that makes sense to be fair I can't even believe I tried the peer pressure now

and Jazz that one borderline made me want to actually vomit I'm not even gonna lie no nice don't hold it in your mouth because it makes it worse park cool I'm gonna um not drink it no no this shot's gonna be um I want to say happy three months to um Emmy it's Emmy's birthday today she's three months old free so young everybody put your hands in the air happy birthday you just got us to do that before sure I know yeah but yeah I'm saying shout out Emmy all right well you go for it um that was cheeky that was that's made my alien cockro back my [ __ ] is [ __ ] back in the mouth hey man what's something you can say at the dinner table that you can say in bed as well again what's up I've got one I'm starting Natalie can I have a second [Music] that's a good one yeah baby okay what what's something you can say guys or I'm finished are we having dessert first oh I was gonna say that I'm not that one she said what I'm finished I'm finished oh so that would be before your starter with me because you're [ __ ] we're finished in like [ __ ] 10 seconds I say three but you know what the crazy thing is we say three seconds but that's her going crazy too within five seconds she's screaming the house down within 10 seconds I've bust and then we just laugh I'm On Top

oh no I can't even say it because I can't even remember what it was but it was [ __ ] funny it's like what do you get when a woman eats six oysters what the guy sucks out seven oh nice that's hot to be fair there's one thing to be fair do you know what I find Crazy with girls like I don't know if it's all girls but say like if I put my willy inside her Fufu right and I'm saying in case there's like I'm saying we gotta be careful penis and vagina yeah if my cock's in a [ __ ] yeah I pull it out she'll suck it and she loves it

watching this is just a made-up story but if it's halfway around like if I just come all in our room I won't eat it really um like you know what I'm saying whereas like you're the opposite you [ __ ] love it you're a fiend now I'm saying we've had sex once in three months but what else can you say at the dinner table you can't but you can say in bed I want to hear nuns what can you say oh I want to hear now now what can you say at the dinner table that you can also say in bed that sexual I'll have it again oh I'll have it again yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a good one Alex behind the camera just said um his mum and dad said one at the table once this tastes like [ __ ] because apparently his dad loves to put in his mum's ass

better watch the pot do they

you shouldn't tell Alex your secrets what else can you say well I wouldn't worry about it anyway you're the boss it's all over my face now I guess they can't really you know you wouldn't chop food in your face oh my mouse I've got I can't fit any more in yeah yeah that's a good one oh I'm salivating oh yeah or I'm stuffed that's a [ __ ] I'm stuffed I'm full up I'm full up [Music]

pass me the Cucumber

yeah I'm saying then what other ones but other ones I'm trying to think um

or Nan's case passed me 10 sausages

[ __ ] oh mate oh for the table into class do not [ __ ] pisses me off though actually because it happened today what just really didn't you get I got a message okay from a certain someone do you know [ __ ] tax um don't say how the [ __ ] attacked entitled so much money off you it's mental like this is this is not me even flexing okay but I've paid over a million pounds in tax in my lifetime [ __ ] how the [ __ ] is that how [ __ ] is that and it's like they just take it and they just [ __ ] what do they do put it in their pockets mate they give themselves pay Rises and pay Rises like it's just like how about it and then they just do patches of the road and they go they don't even [ __ ] do the whole Road they just do patches and they put the rest of it in their pocket mate it's just [ __ ] they're just laughing like I don't get it like maybe they it's just obviously I don't even know but it's just like you're a [ __ ] because they're Robin [ __ ] me you're a [ __ ] Doogie yeah and they go out for big slap up Meals literally yeah they [ __ ] I don't even know man but why do we have to pay towards it like surely like where does money even come from it should be like a lot of snow day it should be a subscription like where your everybody pays 10 pound a month a 10 pound a week and it goes to tax yeah literally that's everyone chill yeah you're watching this tax [ __ ] you yeah man I was gonna say suck the fat [ __ ] but I'm gonna I'm gonna admit it okay my [ __ ] is Tiny like my [ __ ] isn't as big as I say it is like I'd say two and a half inches hard as [ __ ] that's half the Viagra why are you lying before that there's like two inches of [ __ ] Doogie by lying it's that [ __ ] small Jasmine scared of it what are you actually what are you scared of spiders spiders yeah do you know what makes me sad [ __ ] don't be wrong if you see a spider you're getting cool when [ __ ] just step on them and throw [ __ ] yeah that's me yeah but man you're a prick spiders that's just that's like someone [ __ ] saying oh you're a [ __ ] I don't like you just [ __ ] sticking yeah I know but it's just something about them it's just I did something mean the other day though so I went to the toilet in your [ __ ] housemate right and I got up off the toilet what toilet were you in yeah which one there's so many one in the gym no obstacles oh one in my room oh the one near the spare bedrooms it's flexing oh the one is it the one [ __ ] oh the one in the granny flat the whole way you pray oh the 20 of the kitchen you should have just said yeah well anyway I sat on it she should have just said well I sat on it and I thought I'd come on my period okay and I was like oh there's some red stuff at the toilet seat and I thought it was me me I'd sat on the [ __ ] toilet seat and there was a ladybird on it so I flicked it in the toilet naughty yeah I was gonna fly up my [ __ ] vagina and I was like bing if you're a ladybird and you're watching this I pray you bring 10 000 lady Birds to Natalie's house to [ __ ] kill her how many ladybirds did you take to kill you I don't know maybe like I'm trying to work out like maybe so one's like that big so Tim I reckon 20 000 ladybirds swarm you I reckon you'd be dead so you apologize to ladybirds now otherwise they're gonna come and kill you in your sleep no because you need jumped on my fanny that's cool she might have been horny and a lesbian yeah but unfortunately I don't want that my [ __ ] so I apologize if ladybirds come and [ __ ] your ass yeah you wake up come and [ __ ] with me yeah I dare you yeah she loves up her ass amen sometimes back to walking yeah back to what you're scared of Jasmine said spiders what are you scared of well you know rats oh yeah rats and mice I just uh what would you if you woke up and there was a rat in your [ __ ] it's a hair mate yeah

well if you do that if you

know if you want because the FIFA not in this event way if you tried to get out of your bed quickly you're gonna fall over uh-huh and now this rat can get you on the floor and you won't be able to get up if you just got laid down flat do you reckon you can stand up no we're gonna try that after no she won't scared of rats what are you scared of That League Birds yeah

I would see spiders for sure and wasps oh my gosh bees and wasps 100 I'd say they're my top yeah why if you think about it okay because it hurts when you get starved it does it it's like literally having a little injection but I've never been stung I think that's why I'm so scared it's like this

I'm pretty sure when when I was younger dad's got stuck if I had a friend there's two of them [ __ ] oh yeah I'm pretty sure when Dad was younger he got stung like I can't empowered always but I remember it like yesterday if this was gives me the fear is he got stung and he blew up like a [ __ ] elephant and ever since then I'm literally just freaking out but like you think about it if there's a bee like this small business is running around you run you get scared it's like this motherfucker's just chilling yeah I'm saying like I was thinking about it says don't aggravate them oh there's fourth one fifth one oh Jasmine punching that's if you were running away from the bees and you hit a wall oh my funny boy honestly just punch him the other day I can't remember what room was doing he's really pissing me off and I was like you [ __ ] come one step closer I'm gonna [ __ ] punch him dead and he was like he did it and then you know I did I just [ __ ] tipped you get punched him why is it called a funny bomb when it's not even funny yeah it's weird isn't it it's the most uncomfortable feeling ever yeah yeah it's horrible pain what's that

supposed to go for her Nippers she's got some writing little knockers off yeah I know but YouTube's too censored and it'll demonetize if I touch her nips and if I touch it nips I'll probably get a fat hard enough to jerk off in the corner and then my [ __ ] non-alien [ __ ] will not be there oh God what would happen if you didn't have a this is a question it just it popped to my head obviously if we take Viagra we get concrete blocks in our pants to the point where you gotta like Lean Forward what happens if a girl takes Viagra does their Fanny just goes rocks it just probably it sounds like this no it just probably frobs I don't know effects again in that way it just makes him probably extra horny yeah do what that would actually be funny to try I've never ever taken like Viagra but it would be interesting to see what it does just a [ __ ] there might be a female I just want to stop this pod to quickly ask because I don't even know if Alex is asleep um as you checked all cameras okay cool because I've not seen him stand that once yet so I didn't know if the camera's gone off cunt's got lazy Khan's got [ __ ] yeah he's got well he's in the corner playing on his phone he's got well too comfortable you know what I'm saying [ __ ] he actually turned up we were supposed to be at half nine this morning and Alex at 10 to 10 messes the group what time are we today we've been waiting since half night man I think yeah we got here 25 pounds and Alex is not even here yet I even said like can I go grab a coffee cup actually for that Alex you're doing a shop mate yeah yeah going down comments [ __ ] off me you're driving straight away you're here till seven o'clock at night it's only half eleven come on mate guys I can't do one shot get off your ass mate

I think Alex was scared today oh my God what's up mate mate you don't need to dry them until at least five o'clock I'm gonna show you what a picture of what Alex is doing right now are you in a mood is Alex pissed off yeah you do look piss off he's fine that's what you like me so yeah back into this okay um hurt have you ever used a dating site I've used Tinder ones and have you ever like did you have any success nah never never really no there's not that many nice people on there yeah some cringy foxy swipe would you swipe left if you don't like them and left left side you don't write it's bad I think oh you know you know I wouldn't even know but I've had mates that have obviously used it and when she was single at the time she was we were going through it outside in the garden and I'm like [ __ ] hell no no and I keep going nah no chance this is not nice so [ __ ] me I actually feel sorry for you but the thing is the thing is okay I feel like Tinder something where you're just being cheeky you hit up you say [ __ ] it come swing by let's do Doogie yeah of you yeah I've only used

when my last week I'm at your sister she came around to give her that [ __ ] pork stuffing now I've only used I'll be honest I've used Tinder once but like back in the day and I've only ever like had once my success rate on theirs with one every time it goes away no no the problem is I've never used the dating site the problem is I'm a very awkward person

I can picture you being a [ __ ] little Doogie bag back in the day yeah like you know what I'm saying you were a stripper oh my God no I wasn't a strictly you still do that she was a stripper back in the day it's cool I wish I got a strip of money yeah back in well you get [ __ ] I was dancing for pennies yeah and actually Pence [ __ ] corkery that Dayton's abs are pretty lit if you think about it have you seen there's this new one my friends got it and what's her name I'll match her no give her that cream pie but basically you can only sign up you have to get accepted okay and it's so you can go date like celebrities so celebrities are on there and it's verified and everything but you have to you on a waiting list you have to get accepted oh you have to get like referred from people already on it I wasn't him don't tell Kristen App Store what's the name you're a [ __ ] woman no it's nothing they don't say [ __ ] that brand didn't pay us [ __ ] you bleep that word I think it's called Raya never heard of it it's something like that how do you spell it oh but knows but yeah you can like it's like celebrities that are on there that want to do it but you have to be accepted to be on this what the [ __ ] yeah I reckon for a video we set you up a dating profile we put you on a date that would be funny but the thing is nice you've got a promise at the end of the day you put out you at least let them suck your big titties it's funny actually because when Nan met um Johnny's ex-girlfriend's dad do you remember oh yes none was not embarrassed about introducing yourself because she's never been around a man before she went hi hi me Jackie she meant to say my name is Jackie [Music]

Julie allegedly she was that awkward she went to me Jackie Jackie um have you ever heard of one side mirrors one-sided mirrors so like one side you can see from it the other they can't like you can't yeah so they say you're in your bathroom you look in your mirror there's these type mirrors where like if you're from behind it you can see through it it's like glass it's a thing apparently like an airbnb's there's like hidden rooms behind bathrooms and [ __ ] and like yeah I've seen this guy apparently like it's an Airbnb but in one of the bedrooms where there's a mirror it's all built in so you couldn't actually okay yeah apparently behind that mirror there's like another little room chills in a bedroom what the [ __ ] it's me oh

had a wanking [ __ ] ages I don't know that yeah but I don't know what you'd get to in the bath you'd hit make the bedroom door when you're in the bathroom when you're taking a [ __ ] or something and I swear to God I swear they do more than just sit there on the phone [ __ ] in there like half an hour I'm sorry but you're clearly wanking and [ __ ] or something no we're just getting a break from you moaning [ __ ] pigs oh

you the only time you have Emmy is when she's asleep that's a lie took her to the coffee shop yesterday and some [ __ ] weirdo tried to ask the holder and put a coffee down like I was gonna pass her over yeah this is [ __ ] weird I was like um

Amy more than you besides the 10 days you stole her

fight oh I love this argument but I swear it's got men uh women do more than men the average member I'm not gonna lie okay I'm I'm gonna put this out there okay I feel like I'm in the one percent of dads in the world you are quite involved yeah like in terms of just like you are like I'm just like even with outfits you know what I'm saying I used to like even what do we should do nice but no put this on there instead like I want to do [ __ ] as well I didn't decorate a nurse I didn't even let you have a say because I was that involved I know the funny thing is she [ __ ] hates it yeah She [ __ ] hates me she posts Instagram stories and black and white

the pink I hope they realize that I agree I agree I didn't even realize that but I guess I'd rather you do that than be Alex and be scared of a shot I agree like I did say to Chris and maybe go a little bit paler and he was like no I like this color that was crazy I didn't even realize you just said that it is no because I want one of you to get [ __ ] over now let's get it popping so how did you not know that I didn't even I didn't click that's that's why she done in all fairness it was the first thing I noticed and I completely agree with whatever he's a tiny bit too bright I'm not gonna lie yeah black and white not now she's done it in color she has now but it was [ __ ] I wish I picked your sister over you Emily if you're watching this I'll get rid of her and I'll all the good [ __ ] she has I'll take it you can have Rollies you can have cart yes you can have whatever you want you know what I'm saying this house is yours just as much as mine just have his birth no because then you would get well insecure I was in another room banging your sister and you can hear her screaming and she sounds existing she sounds exactly like you Michael wolf do you still they might sound the same right but in person they don't actually look anything alike like they do but they don't at the same time like no they each have their own look imagine yeah and that being that involved he's like I'll do the nursery pay for everything carpet I didn't even show you you've done it and she doesn't even like it no I do it's not that she doesn't like

I get you this is this is the game okay what tell me to stop because everyone's in my left hand I'm getting wet oh my God first yeah stop okay take that Nan tell me to stop stop okay you got that one okay so when it's in the left hand stop cool this is the game we're gonna pop these and whichever popper has a green balloon in it they've got to put this on their lap on their Fanny or my [ __ ] and you gotta pop it so you're gonna wet your pants okay and for the rest of the Pod oh what oh what [ __ ] should we do individually one at a time at the same time okay okay [ __ ] it and a count of three whoever's well green balloon in is about to piss their pants yeah you've pulled us out first yeah three two one oh [ __ ] [ __ ] off yellow what color is yours now what color is your balloon no no because it's your balloon man you've not even got it out you're not popping it yeah

it's breaking all over again that's what you get for [ __ ] changing your boat is black and white cough no yeah

oh my god I didn't even think all the mics in that sound eh yeah the laptops will dry yeah we're chilling that's what you get [ __ ] being ungrateful mate

happy birthday to Emmy what your mama at the end because I thought [ __ ] you she was gonna get it that's what's down there wet Alex are you gonna come do that shot come do it man so yo this before Alex comes on screen we've been that shot's been a half an hour because he's scared to do it it's warm now to go Alex Alex Alex Alex Alex Alex Alex Alex Alex Alex come on mate come take your shot to join you

no spreading rumors hoodie that is so unlike you he didn't even wear his little hoodie that was the hoodie yeah that's wild bar look at the camera what was that guy called again which one you know what I'm saying what's his name Danny Danny Danny Rankin if what you know what I'm saying yeah Danny Rankin take your shot baby Danny ranking Danny Rankin I hope it's done what was it yeah you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying yay

yay right that's another short glass gone oh you broke just stick your [ __ ] tit in his ear

s

should I piss my pants for the [ __ ] bat on a puddle or will I get hate for that don't do that yes I'll get hate don't do that okay comment on this pod right now Kristen you need to piss your pants on the next pot I'll piss my pants [ __ ] off would you actually oh I'll piss right now if you want me to you no no no don't do it no is that weird yeah cause your terrible [ __ ] stinky mate yeah like your [ __ ] [ __ ] like my funny we've got one more game to play go on Natalie and Jasmine swap seats no no Natalie and Natan swap seats me and Nancy yeah yeah swap seeds make sure she doesn't trip over because I can't be asked to [ __ ] ring the ambulance again

your foot's talking yeah that's a shame that you lost mate [ __ ] sake Alex mate well done I'm proud of you okay this is the game okay you're a prick I want to see what the video's called actually Fox Jake this game is called face the spunk you can yeah hold it in the middle you can hold it inside so you both got a nice grip okay

soaking okay hold it there Jasmine grab a dick not only grab a dick this is how the game works we're gonna find out wait a sec we're gonna find out who has the best wank have your face over your hole because whoever if you get sponsored it means you lost three two one go have your face over it

Jackson lost yes Jasmine faced the spank you [ __ ] disappointment that's why you never wake me up maybe no I think that's the way a fun way to end the Pod remember if you're a male in October I'm flying a fan out to get their hair transplant again because I'm getting a second one to make it extra lit so yeah all you've got to do is hit subscribe that's it even maybe drop some comments show some love so you might get [ __ ] a bit of extra attention to win the [ __ ] giveaway if you don't hit subscribe you're [ __ ] gonna die tonight yo [ __ ] is podcast again say bye [ __ ]

Nan's got a rat in her [ __ ] I'm alien with no dick and Chris is going to ask me for a wank layer yeah we've done that she's gonna wake me off peace [Music]